The Nicotine Habit, Why Smoking is so Tough to Give up

 As with many medical issues, people often don't change their lifestyles until faced with their own mortality by losing their health. So what is in tobacco anyway? 



Tobacco plants evolved the ability to make a nerve gas against insects. That ability is called nicotine, an alkaloid pesticide that plants evolved to defend themselves against insect pests. 




Cigarettes are the source of many irritants and poisons such as: reactive metal fragments, ammonia fumes, the paint stripper chemical acetone, hydrogen sulfide, methane, hydrogen cyanide, nitric oxide and formaldehyde. That certainly is not an inclusive list. According to David Bodanis in his book, "The Secret House", the reason cigarettes are the source of all these is because once lit the cigarette makes them itself.  During inhalation the glowing tip of the cigarette can reach 1,700 degrees F. That heat rips the tobacco and paper compounds into their constituent parts and from those basic parts, builds them up again into the poisonous, complex chemicals we started with. This is possible because under the intense heat hydrogen and oxygen come together to form water, which then superheats into steam and condenses as it cools. The chemicals have time to form in between the puffs on the cigarette which starts that process again and again. All that is going on just inside the cigarette, the dim glow behind the red hot tip.




Now imagine what is really in that smoke stream anyone around you has no choice but to breathe. The newly created chemicals of poison clot together in extremely small balls. By the time the cigarette is burned half-way down those little hydrogen cyanide balls are falling, ready to stick to whatever or whomever they land. In addition to that, the exhalation from the smoker is spewing out ammonia, cyanide, formaldehyde and mucus constituents from the nasal lining. 

According to Dr. Mehmet Oz, "Nicotine is one of the most toxic addictions-especially because of its physiological effect on the rest of the body. But the addiction itself is manifested in not only an emotional need for the drug but also a physical need; your brain tells your body it needs nicotine to prevent the symptoms of withdrawal. One reason that nicotine is addictive is that it creates pleasure in the brain, causing a feeling of relaxation. Over time, nicotine keeps your brain from supplying these chemicals that create these good feelings, and you end up craving more nicotine and the feeling it produces."



Everyone is told not to smoke. So why do people continue with such a harmful habit?  In his book, "The Secret Family", David Bodanis claims that nicotine works on the limbic system cells in the brain. By giving a boost in self-confidence many people crave, they soon think they need the stress relief cigarettes appear to offer.  Another reason that people, especially girls, enjoy their smokes is because the nicotine slows the stomach's usual movements which diminishes an appetite. Supposedly ideal for anyone trying to stay slim or lose weight. Women don't seem to realize that their idealistic body image could become an oxygen starved, wrinkled figure with thinning bones prone to fracture. Little is more harmful for maintaining a youthful facial complexion than the damage from free radicals caused by cigarettes.

The tobacco industry understands human nature. Young people vulnerable to peer pressure and normal insecurities are at a higher risk for poor decision making. Once the addictive properties of nicotine take hold, often people smoke for years until they can finally break the habit. Truth be told, many smokers claim to actually enjoy their cigarettes. Reaching for a cigarette while under emotional stress can be like having a good friend. Only true friends don't haunt you down the road.



A little encourage from popular herbalist Susun Weed:
"Tobacco is highly addictive and you can beat it. Get an extra edge on quitting by nourishing yourself with a handful of freshly toasted sunflower seeds and a cup of nettle or oatstraw infusion daily for 4-6 weeks before you stop smoking. Sunflower seeds reduce cravings for nicotine by filling nicotine receptor sites. Nettles and oatstraw strengthen nerves and cushion the impact of withdrawal."

Susun recommends the following book to help quit the habit:

The No-Nag, No-Guilt, Do-It-Your-Own-Way Guide to Quitting Smoking by Tom Ferguson, MD, Ballantine, 1987.

A Toast to Our Children in the Blessing of Marriage

Weddings are a wonderful opportunity for friends and family to gather, put aside their differences, and focus on the happiness of two people united in love and their new chapter in life. As parents, we can only hope the nervous bride and groom can focus on the service enough to get anything out of its message. The Pastor gave some very important messages for any of us striving for a successful and lasting relationship.

People often view their partner as the missing piece needed to make them whole. We cannot view ourselves as an incomplete puzzle with our partner as that missing piece. It sounds romantic to speak poetic like that but to take it literally puts the partner in the position to feel pressured and in part responsible for the other person's happiness. We are not a possession of one another.

The secret of a healthy relationship is to not say to ourselves, "Am I loved?", but rather "Am I loving?" To continually question whether we are loved does nothing but put the other person in the position to feel tested and having to prove his/her love. We are told that love is a verb which is very true. To love is an action but we have to stop interpreting every little annoying thing our spouse does as failing us in some way. That "if he loved me he wouldn't be so thoughtless" or "if he loved me he would already know that without me having to tell him".  That pattern of thinking adds to our own insecurity which soon puts a wedge between two people. Insecurity becomes very draining to any type of relationship and the end result is the desire to escape.

To ask ourselves whether we are loving forces us to observe our behavior and how we must appear to that other person. It puts us outside of ourselves in a better position to focus on where our energy is being spent, are we focusing more on giving or receiving.  

YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO CHANGE A PERSON OR A SITUATION, BUT YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS THAT PERSON OR SITUATION
There are often occasions that we are up against the wall and finally realize that we just have to "accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference". Once you fully accept "it is what it is" a tremendous burden will be lifted, and you'll be amazed how much better you feel.

When two people both hold their ground over their differences, emotions tend to escalate and things just get worse. Whether the other person is "wrong" or not isn't the point. The point is that the only thing we can really change is our attitude about a situation. 

FOCUS ON THE FAULTS OF YOURSELF AND THE GOODNESS IN YOUR PARTNER.
Too often we expect our partner to behave as we would in a given situation. It is almost like we wish that person to be a version of ourselves. It is much easier to find fault in someone else or the circumstances of a situation than to stand back and take a hard look at ourselves. It takes work and an open mind to seek self-improvement and self-enlightenment without the defense mechanisms of denial and projection standing in the way.  You'll get much farther with communication if you make an effort to build up that person rather than tear down. The two words you should try not to use are "never" and "always". Those words immediately put the other person on the defensive which can easily send the conversation downhill rather quickly.

TRY TO ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOUR PARTNER IS A GIFT. Everything about what makes that person a unique individual is now yours to share and vice versa. Obviously, those traits are what each person fell in love with in the first place. Yet it is so easy to loose focus on any of that once the honeymoon phase is past and life settles into an everyday routine with all the pressures and worries of reality. Make a point to regularly stand back and appreciate this person who actually wants to share a life with you. Once you realize that this person standing before you is a gift from God everything about them becomes more amazing and something to treasure.

Everyone has their own beliefs in the existence of a power greater than ourselves. Relationships are so much easier and stronger when both partners share in those convictions. The world doesn't revolve around us and those who share the security of seeking a higher power for strength and guidance relieve themselves of the drain of worrying about that which is beyond our control.

THE RING IS A SIGN OF THE LOVE AND FIDELITY OF THE ONE WHO GIVES IT. That ring was placed on the finger by your partner. Don't think its meaning is simply a love that never ends. It represents the commitment, love and faithfulness of your spouse to you! The wedding rings are never taken off because we're to see it as an ongoing reminder of the promise made to us by that other person.





The tears and emotions flooding through every parent who has witnessed the most memorable, important event in the lives of their children can be impossible to put into words. Years of images topple over one another in a flash of memory as we symbolically hand over our children to begin a life outside of our own.

So now it is time to turn the page and begin another chapter in this book we call life. 

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENTS, WEEK 19, May 7 - May 13

Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much

May 7
"What you know in your head will not sustain you in moments of crisis...confidence comes from body awareness, knowing what you feel in the moment."
Marion Woodman

Our feelings are what makes us human, yet we live in a society that tends to see feelings as fickle, irrational and unnecessary for the road to personal success. Maybe for a robotic society that may be correct but certainly not for the success of what makes for the intricate beings we really are. Feelings are a gift that brings us in touch with the world we live in, that connects us with each other, gives us the signals we need to read behavior and cope with life in general.

May 8
"She would greet us pleasantly, and immediately she seemed to surround the chaotic atmosphere of morning strife with something of order, of efficient and quiet uniformity, so that one had the feeling that life was small and curiously ordered."
Meridel LeSueur

We can all relate to situations such as this. The domino effect is happening and things may appear to be getting out of hand. One person's high-strung energy may be trying to emit control and order but in doing so, that charged, nervous energy is filtering around the room creating tension. Another person in the same situation may give off a quiet, confident presence that others tend to gravitate towards; calm, cool and collected. Order that comes from such a person is so much more peaceful, the definition of serenity.

May 9
"You can get lonesome-being that busy."
Isabel Lennart

People who are overly busy all the time may read this and dismiss it. The truth may be that it is possible to not realize we are lonely because we don't stop long enough to be in touch with what we are feeling. Our work can be like a jealous lover, demanding more and more. It is good to be productive, but not at the expense of intimacy and time needed to nurture our relationships with those we love.

May 10
"So instant intimacy was too often followed by disillusion."
May Sarton

While it is possible to feel an instant connection with someone, it is a mistake to think if we find the right person we'll know immediately that this is the one. True intimacy is a process that takes time and if you don't have time for what that involves, then the relationship probably won't develop beyond a quick flame that fizzles rather quickly. It is said that instant intimacy is one of the characteristics of addictive relationships.

May 11
"Each woman is being made to feel it is her own cross to bear if she can't be the perfect clone of the male superman and the perfect clone of the feminine mystique."
Betty Friedan

Sometimes there is just too much to do, too many roles to play, and too much pressure to be and do it all. The way to handle life when the vise starts to tighten is to realize that we have the power to control its turning. Rather than blocking out the anguish all the stress is causing and thinking we are weak if we admit it, we would be much better off if we would just acknowledge what is happening and step out away from it.

May 12
"I wish I'd a knowed more people. I would of loved 'em all. If I'd a knowed more, I would loved more."
Toni Morrison

There is no limit to the amount of love we can share. Love is an energy that is shared because we have it, simple as that. It should not be dolled out as a means to get something in return. It should not be parceled out in piecemeal due to the fear that to give freely will only get us hurt. Love is something that flows out of out deep sense of loving ourselves. It is not possible to love another if we don't know and love ourselves. Once we love who we are, we'll be much more open to getting to know other people. We'll soon learn there is plenty of that love to go around and the reserves won't be drained dry.

May 13
"The thing about having a baby is that thereafter you have it."
Jean Kerr

While it is true that babies are born a clean slate, it is a disillusion to think we can shape them how we see fit and they'll stay that way. Parenting is an intimate, interactive process that continues for the rest of our lives. Only when we stop with the fantasy child image can we begin to see who these little people really are. And when we do that it is a great step in giving our children the autonomy they need to develop into independent adults.



To read the previous posts:

To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28

Week 5 January 29 - February 4
Week 6 February 5 - February 11
Week 7 February 12 - February 18
Week 8 February 19 - February 25

Week 9 February 26 - March 4
Week 10 March 5 - March 11
Week 11 March 12 - March 18 
Week 12 March 19 - March 25
Week 13 March 26 - April 1 

Week 14 April 2 - April 8 
Week 15 April 9 - April 15 
Week 16 April 16 - April 22
Week 17 April 23 - 29 

Week 18 April 30 - May 6

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENT WEEK SIX February 5 - February 11

Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much

 February 5

"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."
Charlotte Whitton

This quote may strike a nerve with some and only open up the battle of the sexes debate. But the point she is making is that women tend to feel they must work twice as hard and dare not admit just how exhausted they really are. Some women can pump out one task after another and appear unstoppable but at what cost to them? Women so often say they are 'tired of being tired' yet have a fear of giving a bit of it all up since, "My tiredness is mine, I've earned it".

February 6

"Neither reproaches nor encouragements are able to revive a faith that is waning."
Nathalie Sarraute

One of the problems with organized religion is that we are told what to believe, and feel to question is wrong as that must mean a lack of faith. That is very sad since sometimes beliefs can actually interfere with our connection with a power greater than ourselves. Faith is a very personal process. No one can give us the answers about our spirituality. Reading and thinking is great, but we must search inside ourselves and have our own understanding of God and trust our own knowing. Our spirituality is connected with who we are.

February 7

"Tension grew at home, and my work suffered as I committed to tighter and tighter deadlines."
Ellen Sue Stern

It is a myth that workaholics are always productive with a job well done. Maybe in the beginning, when we still feel in tight control. But over time, people get tired, whether they admit it or not. Health suffers, families suffer and the work suffers. Too much on one plate may end up with things getting done, but as the saying goes, it's half-assed.

February 8

"Well we start out in our lives as little children, full of light and the clearest vision"
Brenda Ueland

Once a person realizes to be a workaholic is an addiction, and treats it as such, he or she often looks back and experiences a moment of clarity for the first time in perhaps years. We realize how we have lost our focus in life with all the business and deadlines. It can be like hearing a lullaby from long ago. The words are faint but the melody dawns on us and becomes more apparent.

February 9

"Though a tree grow ever high, the falling leaves return to the ground."
Malay proverb

Personal success deserves recognition and due reward for our efforts. But we cannot forgot those who have helped us get where we are. There are those who perhaps stepped on anyone in the way to rise up the ladder, but for the most part, successful people have a support system, probably quiet and unnoticed in the background. Let us acknowledge and be grateful since our success also says a lot about them.

February 10

"Some people talk simply because they think sound is more manageable than silence."
Margaret Halsey

Some people find silence very unnerving. They seem to need to talk just to fill up the void. But endless chatter often results in no one really listening, we to ourselves or anyone who has to listen.
We have to realize that we don't have to fill up every minute, be it with sound or busyness.

February 11

"When Peter left me, the negative emotions that rose up in me and exploded in me were just horrifying. But God kept telling me that they were all part of me and I couldn't try to hide them under the carpet because I didn't like them."
Eileen Caddy

When pushed to the limit of exhaustion, pent up frustrations, or feelings of betrayal in relationships, we may see a side of ourselves we didn't think possible. While good to get it all out so those feelings don't simmer away, it doesn't have to become a meltdown or explosion. We have to be okay with having feelings and not be in the 'good little girl syndrome' all the time. We need to realize that the full gamut of emotions is totally normal. We can learn a lot about ourselves when we become aware of how we tend to deal with emotions.



To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28
Week 5 January 29 - February 4

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENT WEEK 5 January 29 - February 4

Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much

January 29

"In the face of an obstacle which is impossible to overcome, stubbornness is stupid."
Simone de Beauvoir

Are we really in control in this life? Sometimes not.
The definition of addiction is anything that controls our lives, over which we are powerless, and which is making our lives unmanageable. Compulsive working, rushing and constant busyness can be areas of our lives where we are the most powerless. Our greatest victory can be knowing when to quit.

January 30

"Human beings are an untidy lot. They'd lose their arms and legs if they weren't joined on right."
Elizabeth Beresford

We have to have an awareness of self. Addictive functioning ends up with our being so out of touch with what we are feeling that we are left without the energy to even notice the messages our bodies are trying to tell us. If we don't start paying attention, our bodies will get our attention however it must, and that can mean painful consequences.

January 31

"Somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff."
Ntozake Shnge

Self-sacrifice seems to be a thing with women. We love too much, we give too much. We are often so generous, have such trouble saying 'no', have too little value of our time, that it may seem we have given little pieces of ourselves away.  The cumulative affect of years of giving away little bits of ourselves may result in feeling empty and angry. To share yourself, you have to have a self to share.

February 1

"How is my own life-work serving to end these tyrannies, the corrosions of sacred possibility."
June Jordan

Going through the motions of our everyday lives can become boring and tedious, and result in our questioning the purpose of it all. We have to know that even if what we are doing doesn't seem to have a great cosmic meaning, the way we go about it and the lives we touch give it all meaning. Regardless of what we do, we do have the opportunity to make it sacred work. Don't every undervalue the little things.

February 2

"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
Agnes Repplier

Why do some people have such trouble with happiness? Perhaps they are looking too hard to find it. Our happiness resides within ourselves. No one can give it to us. Success, money, recognition, respect, status, etc. can make us feel good, but it doesn't last. Happy people can of course have all those things, but happiness isn't a result of those things. We cannot think if we just make more money or meet the right person, we'll find happiness. Of course, those things will help us feel happier, but true happiness begins within us, with our attitude, not with happiness substitutes.

February 3

"And when is there time to remember, to sift, to weigh, to estimate, to total?"
Tillie Olsen

Here is the self-sacrifice thing again. Women feel guilty taking time out for themselves because they feel if they do so, they are taking time away from the children, spouses, or that never ending 'to do' list. We all know the advice that if we don't take care of ourselves, we'll be of little use to those we love. We often don't heed that advice until our health suffers and we're forced to just stop already. Moments alone and our need for them is not a waste of time, they are a life-giving force. Take those stolen moments and treasure them.

February 4

"Problems are messages."
Shakti Gawain

People often wonder, why does life have to be so hard! Problems give us the opportunity to learn something. If we don't get the message the first time around, no doubt we'll be given another chance. Schaef says: "The intensity of the whack alongside the head that life has to give us in order to get a lesson through to us is directly proportional to the height and breadth of our stubbornness and illusion of control." Once we get through those hard times, we look back and see just how much we've grown.


To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENT WEEK 3 1/15/15 to 1/21/15

Meditations for Women who Do too Much

 

 

January 15
"Make good use of bad rubbish."
Elizabeth Beresford

Elizabeth has a lot of wisdom here. If your life resembles a garbage dump, it is up to you to sort through it all, turn it over as if it were soil, and plant flowers. Think of all the stink as a natural fertilizer. When we get stuck in our minds with the never ending rehashing of past events and experiences, we are the ones who suffer as the negative energy plays havoc on our health.

January 16
"Learning moment by moment to be free in our minds and hearts, we make freedom possible for everyone the world over."
Sonia Johnson

Freedom begins from within. Being addicted to doing too much is not really any different than any other addition. If it has control over our lives and the behaviors can send your health into a downhill spiral, than we are not free and have lost our minds and hearts. Being aware and taking necessary steps to deal with any addiction affects and sets an example for others that freedom is a possible dream.

January 17
"To achieve, you need thought...You have to know what you are doing and that's real power."
Ayn Rand

Have you ever been told that you "think too much" and that is half your problem? There is nothing wrong with thinking. It's the way we do it. As a society, we have come to believe that we must be logical, rational and calculating, and to not let intuition and awareness effect our thought processes and decision making. We have to realize that our brain is a great gift, and we need to use all of it. True thought begins when we have synergy with all thought processes.

January 18
"Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries."
Corita Kent

Writing to-do lists to keep track of our goals for the day is fine and necessary so as not to get overwhelmed. The problem lies when we get so caught up in what needs to come next that we never really get anything out of what we are doing at the moment and lose our sense of presence. There is truth to the phrase "live in the present, because to be present in the present really is a present."

January 19
"People who try to boss themselves always want (however kindly) to boss other people. They always think they know best and are so stern and resolute about it they are not very open to new and better ideas."
Brenda Uelalnd

The Golden Rule states to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But if in your controlling behavior, you do unto others as you do unto yourself, everyone loses.
If your core form of functioning is to get the job done, than you just may lose all patience with any other ways than your own in getting those jobs done. That kind of thinking usually results in being hard to work with as people become turned off with our lack of being a team player.

January 20
"She was a 'what if' personality and because of that she never really happened."
Anne Wilson Schaef

Stop "iffing" and start living. Many people do this. They torture themselves with doubting every decision they make with the "what if" I'd done it this way or said this instead or chose that. We cannot cover all the bases to ensure a certain outcome. To live like that is only an illusion of control and can be paralyzing. We cannot control the past, present and future.

January 21
"The liar in her terror wants to fill up the void with anything. Her lies are a denial of her fear; a way of maintaining control."
Adrienne Rich

There is nothing wrong with feeling fear. It is human to feel fear sometimes. The problem is when our lives are ruled by fear but we are in denial about it. It is such a relief to just admit our fears, accept the fact that to live with an illusion of control over everything turns us into liars about who we are until we just may question our very sanity.


To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENT WEEK 2 1/14/2015

Only week two and already I am late getting the post written.

Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much by Anne Wilson Schaef

January 8, 2015
"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry."
Gloria Steinem

Success demands sacrifice, focus and often the need to put work before everything else. As women this constant battle of where our priorities lie can be very draining. Women have learned how to play the game in a man's world by not letting on just how hard it is to juggle job and family. Very often the man would go off to work and not have to worry about home because his wife was there to hold down the fort. Many successful men must admit they couldn't have achieved what they have if their focus was constantly interrupted with the distractions of home and family. Now that women are trying to achieve the same goals they are finding they don't like the person they have become.

January 9, 2015
"Anger as soon is fed is dead
'Tis starving makes it fat."
Emily Dickinson

Anger is not the problem. What we do with it is. If there is one thing that infuriates women is the craving for respect and not feeling appreciated. We too often push those feelings down again and again until the moment where we explode and usually harm those we love the most. Then when we do have our meltdowns we get even angrier when people don't seem to "get it" and hold that outburst against us. We have to realize that anger is a very normal feeling and there is nothing wrong with that. Anger is harmful when it is held in and starved. We have to find safe outlets for our anger and be aware that it can be our friend by hinting to us that something is wrong.

January 10, 2015
"I don't give myself credit for what I do get done because I have so many projects hanging fire that I haven't done."
Chris

We have to stop with the seeing the glass as half-empty rather than half-full. If we put our to-do list down on paper and check them off we can see how much we really did get done in a day. There is always going to be something else added to our plate. Realizing that and feeling accomplished will help us sleep better.

January 11, 2015
"People change and forget to tell each other."
Lillian Hellman

The only constant is change. It is an illusion that there will be a time when we will get our lives in order and it will stay that way! The only way we can grow and become is through change. When those dearest to us make that step we have to be happy for them and not feel left behind or personally attacked.

January 12, 2015
"To gain that which is worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else."
Bernadette Devlin

Sometimes we become very dramatic with our lives and believe that if we are to get what we want, we have to give up a lot of what makes us who we are. How often do we finally have an open slate of a day ahead to do anything we want and just wonder what happened to that person who used to have so many interests. It is never too late to re-examine our choices. We always have choices.

January 13, 2015
"And beyond even self-doubt no writer can justify ruthlessness for the sake of his work, because being human to the fullest possible extent is what his work demands of him."
May Sarton

Often told that to make it in the world we cannot be soft, but rather we need to be ruthless and harden our shell. This attitude does not often come naturally for a woman, and to achieve the success she wants, she just may pay the price of forgetting who she really is. We cannot lose touch with our humanness, our morality and spirituality. We have to unbury ourselves from the layers that make up that shell.

January 14, 2015
"Why indeed must 'God' be a noun? Why not a verb...the most active and dynamic of all?"
Mary Daly

Some of us were raised with the notion that God is something or someone who is a mega-controller. What if we saw God as a process of the universe and that we are part of that process. We can be part of that process by being who we are and not who we think we should be or who others think we should be. If God is a process and I am a process, we have something in common with which to begin.

Read the Meadow Muffin Moments from week 1, 1-1-15 to 1-7-15

Living with Chronic Illness

Feeling invincible and having the world by the tail is a wonderful thing. That sense of vitality and control over one's life can be stripped away in an instant with one sentence from your physician, "You have a condition called ......... There is no known cure, but you can live a normal lifespan with proper management."

Chronic illness can make or break a person. It can change the entire dynamics of a family. No one knows how strong they are until they have to be. It is a fact that a sour attitude and disposition can not only be a drain on one's own immune system, but that of an entire household if that home is filled with the black cloud of negative energy.

There is no denying that illness is a pain in the touche. But by damned if you need to let it become you. Don't let yourself sink into the mentality that "life sucks".
Having a condition does suck, but life doesn't have to.
The wisdom behind these quotes are true for everyone, not just those with physical or mental challenges or illness.

1. It's the little things, the little everyday achievements. It can be a good day, Get up, get with it, do what has to be done and go with the flow. Do not obsess on the negative. The cup really is half full.

2. You may not be able to change a person or a situation, but you can change your attitude towards that person or situation. There are always people who will never understand. There is no way they can unless they walk in your shoes. Especially if you have to hear "but you don't look sick". Embrace the wisdom behind the Serenity Prayer.



 3. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The Golden Rule exists in most all cultures. Treating others with respect and kindness is just the moral, ethical thing to do. If you get disgusted with people just remember, how people treat others is a reflection on how they feel about themselves, it is nothing personal towards he or she at the brunt of that negativity.


4. Don't lose your smile. Have a sense of humor. Not everyone is the laugh out loud bubbly type but having a wry sense of humor that only comes from someone with a chronic illness is not the same as having a sour attitude.


5. Don't become a bitter person. You may have a condition, but don't let the condition define you. It may limit you, it may shape your attitude being such a pain in the ass, but it is not who you are.


6. Don't focus on the past. To obsess over activities once enjoyable but of which you are no longer capable is a sure ticket for depression.


7. Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Live in the moment, since in reality what else is there. Prepare for the future in terms of having your finances in order, have a living will, a financial and medical power of attorney, and a will so your love ones know your final wishes. Then file away all that paperwork and start living.


8. Use it or lose it. It is a proven fact that those who exercise their mind and body live longer. It isn't just maintaining flexibility and strength in your limbs. You need good cardiovascular circulation and oxygen exchange to keep your organs functioning at their best. Believe in the whole mind/body connection attitude towards your health. Don't become a list of diagnosis codes as if each is a problem all by itself. Move, meditate, breathe.



9. Don't lose your vitality.  The opposite of depression isn't happiness, but vitality. Ask yourself, "Will someone else's life be brighter tomorrow because of what you have done today?" By William Arthur Ward
Having a sense of purpose is the key to fulfillment and a reason to get up in the morning. That sense of purpose is often at risk after retirement once we no longer can describe ourselves with a job title. That sense of purpose is often at risk once we experience limitations due to failing health.
Once away from the action of the workplace, it is easy to feel forgotten and alone. Don't let this happen to you. Get involved in another direction. Rediscover who you are and interests that got put on the back burner over the years.


10. "Today is life - the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today. Get interested in something. Shake yourself awake. Develop a hobby. Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you. Live today with gusto." by Dale Carnegie

Boredom should not exist. There is just too much to do in this life.
Think about each of the eight things listed below. As a child, our educations focused too much on literacy and not enough on our whole person. Happiness isn't something down the road that will come to us if we work harder, or when we have more free time, or more money. Develop these areas and you'll understand that the definition of happiness is contentment.

Exercise
Diet and Nutrition
Time in Nature
Contribution and Service
Relationships
Recreation
Relaxation & Stress Management
Religious & Spiritual

Happy New Year and Thank You

                                  HAPPY NEW YEAR!!


A sincere thank you to all of you who showed interest in Meadow Muffin Gardens, from the blog posts to the Facebook page to your support of my shops. I sincerely appreciate all the feedback, which has not only given me confidence in why I'm doing this, but has planted the seeds for new ideas and direction.

Please let me know of any areas of interests you would enjoy reading about with the blog posts. Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Instagram and Blogger are all intertwined as a wonderful and powerful means of branching out to people, like tendrils on a vine reaching in every direction. Thank you for your part in my gaining exposure, either by word of mouth or sources such as these.

Enjoy whatever plans you may have for New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.
Wishing 2016 to be an exciting year full of opportunity, fulfillment and good health.

Have a blessed 2016



Stacy
www.meadowmuffingardens.com
www.meadowmuffin2010.etsy.com
www.zibbet.com/meadowmuffin2010
www.meadowmuffingardens.blogspot.com/
www.facebook.com/MeadowMuffinGardens

Grace and Gratitude this Thanksgiving

Jared Whalen, Fort Jackson S.C. Basic Training Graduation

3rd Battalion, 60 Infantry Regiment " River Raiders"

Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) by Toby Keith

 

Upon completion of the U.S. Army Basic Combat Training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina after a grueling ten weeks of unrelenting demands, another group of young men and women have earned the respect of  becoming part of the United States Army. Challenged physically, mentally, and emotionally, these soldiers have learned  the true meaning of perseverance, self-control and pride not only in themselves but in their country.

Fort Jackson trains more soldiers than any other Initial Entry Training Center in the U.S. Army.   

Their mission is to transform volunteer civilians into Soldiers in order to enable them to successfully complete Advanced Individual Training and contribute to their first units of assignment.  The Drill Sergeants ensure that every Soldier has the opportunity to not only change their lives, but to succeed at making this change. 

Only about 2% of the American people are serving in the military and about 3% of living Americans have served in the military. To think in this great country full of blessings and opportunity, such a small percentage actually volunteer a portion of their own lives to help guarantee such freedom and safety for the rest of us. What a blessing to be born amidst a land where the majority can feel secure within the safety of their homes. To wake each new day in control of its opportunity, with food on the table, clean water from the tap and warmth from the cold. Let us never take for granted the sacrifices of those responsible for where we as a people are today.

This Holiday Season, let us not only count our blessings, but include in our prayers all of those who cannot be at the dinner table with their loved ones. Take a moment to remember those who believe in the importance of making a contribution, to be a "leaver rather than a taker".

As a new Army Mom, I am proud to support my son's optimistic belief in career possibilities of his own choosing, and paths of opportunity made more realistic by being one of the Army Strong. 

 

A Quip and a Quote

 

Seasonal Reflection

"Our gardens are tired, they've given their all,
The bounty is gathered, we're ready for Fall.
Herbs cut and dried, seeds stored away,
Swallows have flown, mice hide in the hay.
Take time to listen, the message is there,
Blessings abound, our work now to share.
Give what you can, but take a moment to rest
Take care of yourself and you'll give back your best."


We often feel like squirrels bustling around multitasking, trying to get everything done, always feeling as though there is a race against the clock.

The months just seem to blend one into another and it is easy to let these beautiful days slip away as we focus more on the day to day schedule of demands than on taking advantage of the moment.

Our daily work is what it is and does need to get done, but remember Lao Tzu's wisdom and remember to look up from our tasks so we don't miss something we can't get back.

September is Self-Awareness Month

An aspect of being human is the soul searching question, 'Who am I?'. To answer this, we must first stop and pay attention. We have certain routines and habits in our daily lives that unless we stand outside ourselves once in a while and observe, we can get stuck in those habits and limit our experience of life. With awareness of certain patterns, we can choose differently and attain a freedom we may not even have been aware of. Our thinking creates our reality. Pay attention to how you react to situations and your emotions when in those situations. What messages can you learn from that? Your body has a wisdom just waiting for us to pay attention, and that awareness will reveal a whole new world.

September is self-awareness month. Below are wonderful bits of wisdom to get us thinking.
Thirty days has September, a quote a day in which to remember!

A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.
Albert Einstein

If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.
 Ralph Waldo Emerson

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
 Eleanor Roosevelt

Enlarge your consciousness. If your consciousness is small, you will experience smallness in every department of your life.
Robert Pante

Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there.
Marcus Aurelius

There are three principles in man's being and life, the principle of thought, the principle of speech and the principle of action. The origin of all conflict between me and my fellow men is that I do not say what I mean, and that I do not mean what I say.
 Martin Buber

Emptiness is a symptom that you are not living creatively. You either have no goal that is important enough to you, or you are not using your talents and efforts in a striving toward an important goal. - Maxwell Maltz

When you're different, sometimes you don't see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn't.
Jodi Picoult

Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
C.G. Jung


We search for happiness everywhere, but we are like Tolstoy's fabled beggar who spent his life sitting on a pot of gold, under him the whole time. Your treasure--your perfection--is within you already. But to claim it, you must leave the buy commotion of the mind and abandon the desires of the ego and enter into the silence of the heart. 
 Elizabeth Gilbert

Part of the problem with the word 'disabilities' is that it immediately suggests an inability to see or hear or walk or do other things that many of us take for granted. But what of people who can't feel? Or talk about their feelings? Or manage their feelings in constructive ways? What of people who aren't able to form close and strong relationships? And people who cannot find fulfillment in their lives, or those who have lost hope, who live in disappointment and bitterness and find in life no joy, no love? These, it seems to me, are the real disabilities.”
Fred Rogers


Until you make peace with who your are ... you'll never be content with what you have. - Doris Mortman

Actions have consequences...first rule of life. And the second rule is this: You are the only one responsible for your own actions. - Holly Lisle

A human being is like a computer that is capable of thousands of things. But we put in a card that only lets it do one thing. Until you change the card, that is all the computer will do: that one thing, over and over and over. That is the state in which we function and we believe that no other cards exist, that this card is the one and only card that we can function upon. I say that the difference between human beings and machines is that we make the cards. So, when one card doesn´t work, take it out and put in a new card.
Moshe Feldenkrais


Most of the shadows of life are caused by standing in our own sunshine. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Self-actualizing people enjoy life more – not that they don´t have pain, sorrow and troubles, just that they get more out of life. They appreciate it more; they have more interests; they are more aware of beauty in the world. They have less fear and anxiety and more confidence and relaxation.
Abraham H Maslow


There is no satisfaction that can compare with looking back across the years and finding you've grown in self-control, judgment, generosity, and unselfishness. - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

The way life treats you is a merciless mirror image of your attitude toward life. - Anonymous.

People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never think you're not good enough yourself. A man should never think that. People will take you very much at your own reckoning. - Anthony Trollope

Never try to do anything that is outside of who you are. A forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart, so recognize it when it happens. Living a lie will reduce you to one.”
Ashly Lorenzana

I think that's the real loss of innocence: the first time you glimpse the boundaries that will limit your potential.
Steve Toltz

To know a species, look at its fears. To know yourself, look at your fears. Fear in itself is not important, but fear stands there and points you in the direction of things that are important. Don't be afraid of your fears, they're not there to scare you; they're there to let you know that something is worth it.
 C. JoyBell C
 
We judge others instantly by their clothes, their cars, their appearance, their race, their education, their social status. The list is endless. What gets me is that most people decide who another person is before they have even spoken to them. What's even worse is that these same people decide who someone else is, and don't even know who they are themselves.
Ashly Lorenzana

What you seem to be, be really.

Benjamin Franklin 

I do not believe in taking the right decision, I take a decision and make it right.
Muhammad Ali Jinnah

You can live a lifetime and at the end of it, know more about other people than you know about yourself.
Beryl Markham

With better awareness you can make better choices and when you make better choices, you will see better results.
Robin Sharma


Movement is life. Life is a process. Improve the quality of the process and you improve the quality of life itself.
Moshe Feldenkrais


The person in life that you will always be with the most, is yourself. Because even when you are with others, you are still with yourself, too! When you wake up in the morning, you are with yourself, laying in bed at night you are with yourself, walking down the street in the sunlight you are with yourself.What kind of person do you want to walk down the street with? What kind of person do you want to wake up in the morning with? What kind of person do you want to see at the end of the day before you fall asleep? Because that person is yourself, and it's your responsibility to be that person you want to be with. I know I want to spend my life with a person who knows how to let things go, who's not full of hate, who's able to smile and be carefree. So that's who I have to be.”
C. JoyBell C

The Home Business AESOP

What is usually the first bit of advice with having an at home office?
Get the cat off the desk!
Easier said than done since my office is part of my living room and doesn't have a door.
Part of me is flattered that they seem to think that the minute someone takes a seat it means lap time for them.  Not pictured here but it is a given that there is a dog somewhere under the desk as well.
But they know I'm a soft touch and being more amused than annoyed, won't boot them very far.

The owner and educator of Essential Wholesale and Essential Labs, Kayla Fioravanti, wrote a keeper of a blog post using words of wisdom from Dr. Seuss and Winnie the Pooh as advice for business success.  Taking a piece here and there from that article I came up with my own little inspirational quip.

AESOP

A is for Attitude
E is for Education
S is for Social Networking
O is for Organization
P is for Perseverance

Attitude
"You have brains in your head.  You have feet in your shoes.  You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  You're on your own.  And you know what you know.  And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."  Dr. Seuss

We know the saying about being the masters of our fate.  All we need is to put fear aside and get out of our own way.  God gave us the tools we need, we just have to recognize and believe it enough to act on it.

Education
"The more that you read, the more things you will know.  The more that you learn the more places you'll go."  Dr. Seuss
Also remember the words of wisdom from this childhood poem:
"There was an old owl who lived in an oak,
The more he saw, the less he spoke,
The less he spoke, the more he heard,
We should all be like that wise old bird"

No matter what our age, we should never stop learning.  Not only will you become more knowledgeable in your field, you'll have plenty of sources for pulling up information when needed.
Making mistakes is all part of that education.  If we're observant we'll learn from the mistakes of others before we have to pay the price by making those same mistakes ourselves.


 Social Networking

"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."  Winnie the Pooh

With the internet and social networking sites it is a mistake to assume that just being a part of the world wide web means you will automatically find exposure.  It is a rude awakening when you realize how quickly a website or shop becomes buried in cyberspace.  An on-line business is ideal for someone who is more of an introvert and prefers to reach people through the written word rather than physically getting out there in person to sell yourself verbally.  But if that is your path of choice you have to take advantage of networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Blogs, and means of advertizing. 

Organization
 "The hardest part is what to leave behind,...It's time to let go!"  Winnie the Pooh

Having organizational skills and a daily schedule is paramount to a successful business.  This is especially true if you work out of your home.  Look closely at your habits and change what is necessary to stay on top of things.  A home business can easily become chaotic with constant interruptions, lack of work space and lack of organization with supplies and bookkeeping.
Find a balance between family and business.  Carve out a set amount of hours in the day that the message is clear to everyone else that you are "working" and demand respect for your time.

Perseverance
"Don't Go Straight, Go Forward"  The Mighty Manatees (an awesome band)
Expect to make mistakes since that is the way to learn and improve in anything.
Give yourself a break when things don't go easily.  No one said this road would be an easy one.

Hold onto your values, and your customer base will eventually grow.  People appreciate honesty and consideration.  Say what you'll do and do what you say.  Your business will be defined by those values, so keep your focus, eye on the goal, and stay motivated. 

Last, surround yourself with positive energy.  So what if some people think you a bit odd or crazy for taking on the unknown.  My husbands favorite bit of advice for me has always been,
"When in doubt, go for it."    We all have the right to seek out a dream.  To each his own.