A Toast to our Children in the Blessing of Marriage

Weddings are a wonderful opportunity for friends and family to gather, put aside their differences, and focus on the happiness of two people united in love and their new chapter in life. As parents, we can only hope the nervous bride and groom can focus on the service enough to get anything out of its message. The Pastor gave some very important messages for any of us striving for a successful and lasting relationship.

People often view their partner as the missing piece needed to make them whole. We cannot view ourselves as an incomplete puzzle with our partner as that missing piece. It sounds romantic to speak poetic like that but to take it literally puts the partner in the position to feel pressured and in prt responsible for the other person's happiness. We are not a possession of one another.

The secret of a healthy relationship is to not say to ourselves, "Am I loved?", but rather say "Am I loving?". To continually question whether we are loved does nothing but put the other person in the position to feel tested and having to prove his/her love. We are told that love is a verb, which is true. To love is an action, but we have to stop interpreting every little annoying thing our spouse does as failing us in some way. that "if he loved me he wouldn't be so thoughtless" or "if he loved me he would already know that without me having to tell him". That patter of thinking adds to our own insecurity which soon puts a wedge between two people. Insecurity becomes very draining to any type of relationship and the end result is the desire to escape.

To ask ourselves whether we are loving forces us to observe our behavior and how we must appear to that other person. It puts us outside of ourselves in a better position to focus on where our energy is being spent; are we focusing more on giving or receiving.

YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO CHANGE A PERSON OR A SITUATION, BUT YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS THAT PERSON OR SITUATION.
There are often occasions that we are up against the wall and come to realize that we just have to "accept the things we cannot change, have the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference". Once you fully accept "it is what it is", a tremendous burden will be lifted.

When two people both hold their ground over their differences, emotions tend to escalate and things just get worse. Whether the other person is "wrong" or not isn't the point. What matters is that the only thing we can change is our attitude.

FOCUS ON THE FAULTS OF YOURSELF AND THE GOODNESS IN YOUR PARTNER.
Too often we expect our partner to behave as we would in a given situation. It is almost like we wish that person to be a version of ourselves. It is much easier to find fault in someone else or the circumstances of a situation than to stand back and take a hard look at ourselves. It takes work and an open mind to seek self-improvement and self-enlightenment without the defense mechanisms of denial and projection standing in the way.  You'll get much farther with communication if you make an effort to build up that person rather than tear down. The two words you should try not to use are "never" and "always". Those words immediately put the other person on the defensive which can easily send the conversation downhill rather quickly.

TRY TO ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOUR PARTNER IS A GIFT.
Everything about what makes that person a unique individual is now yours to share and vice versa. Obviously, those traits are what each person fell in love with in the first place. Yet it is so easy to loose focus on any of that once the honeymoon phase is past and life settles into an everyday routine with all the pressures and worries of reality. Make a point to regularly stand back and appreciate this person who actually wants to share a life with you. Once you realize that this person standing before you is a gift from God everything about them becomes more amazing and something to treasure.

Everyone has their own beliefs in the existence of a power greater than ourselves. Relationships are so much easier and stronger when both partners share in those convictions. The world doesn't revolve around us and those who share the security of seeking a higher power for strength and guidance relieve themselves of the drain of worrying about that which is beyond our control.

THE RING IS A SIGN OF THE LOVE AND FIDELITY OF THE ONE WHO GIVES IT. 
That ring was placed on the finger by your partner. Don't think its meaning is simply a love that never ends. It represents the commitment, love and faithfulness of your spouse to you! The wedding rings are never taken off because we're to see it as an ongoing reminder of the promise made to us by that other person.





The tears and emotions flooding through every parent who has witnessed the most memorable, important event in the lives of their children can be impossible to put into words. Years of images topple over one another in a flash of memory as we symbolically hand over our children to begin a life outside of our own.

So now it is time to turn the page and begin another chapter in this book we call life.

A Toast to Our Children in the Blessing of Marriage

Weddings are a wonderful opportunity for friends and family to gather, put aside their differences, and focus on the happiness of two people united in love and their new chapter in life. As parents, we can only hope the nervous bride and groom can focus on the service enough to get anything out of its message. The Pastor gave some very important messages for any of us striving for a successful and lasting relationship.

People often view their partner as the missing piece needed to make them whole. We cannot view ourselves as an incomplete puzzle with our partner as that missing piece. It sounds romantic to speak poetic like that but to take it literally puts the partner in the position to feel pressured and in part responsible for the other person's happiness. We are not a possession of one another.

The secret of a healthy relationship is to not say to ourselves, "Am I loved?", but rather "Am I loving?" To continually question whether we are loved does nothing but put the other person in the position to feel tested and having to prove his/her love. We are told that love is a verb which is very true. To love is an action but we have to stop interpreting every little annoying thing our spouse does as failing us in some way. That "if he loved me he wouldn't be so thoughtless" or "if he loved me he would already know that without me having to tell him".  That pattern of thinking adds to our own insecurity which soon puts a wedge between two people. Insecurity becomes very draining to any type of relationship and the end result is the desire to escape.

To ask ourselves whether we are loving forces us to observe our behavior and how we must appear to that other person. It puts us outside of ourselves in a better position to focus on where our energy is being spent, are we focusing more on giving or receiving.  

YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO CHANGE A PERSON OR A SITUATION, BUT YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS THAT PERSON OR SITUATION
There are often occasions that we are up against the wall and finally realize that we just have to "accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference". Once you fully accept "it is what it is" a tremendous burden will be lifted, and you'll be amazed how much better you feel.

When two people both hold their ground over their differences, emotions tend to escalate and things just get worse. Whether the other person is "wrong" or not isn't the point. The point is that the only thing we can really change is our attitude about a situation. 

FOCUS ON THE FAULTS OF YOURSELF AND THE GOODNESS IN YOUR PARTNER.
Too often we expect our partner to behave as we would in a given situation. It is almost like we wish that person to be a version of ourselves. It is much easier to find fault in someone else or the circumstances of a situation than to stand back and take a hard look at ourselves. It takes work and an open mind to seek self-improvement and self-enlightenment without the defense mechanisms of denial and projection standing in the way.  You'll get much farther with communication if you make an effort to build up that person rather than tear down. The two words you should try not to use are "never" and "always". Those words immediately put the other person on the defensive which can easily send the conversation downhill rather quickly.

TRY TO ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOUR PARTNER IS A GIFT. Everything about what makes that person a unique individual is now yours to share and vice versa. Obviously, those traits are what each person fell in love with in the first place. Yet it is so easy to loose focus on any of that once the honeymoon phase is past and life settles into an everyday routine with all the pressures and worries of reality. Make a point to regularly stand back and appreciate this person who actually wants to share a life with you. Once you realize that this person standing before you is a gift from God everything about them becomes more amazing and something to treasure.

Everyone has their own beliefs in the existence of a power greater than ourselves. Relationships are so much easier and stronger when both partners share in those convictions. The world doesn't revolve around us and those who share the security of seeking a higher power for strength and guidance relieve themselves of the drain of worrying about that which is beyond our control.

THE RING IS A SIGN OF THE LOVE AND FIDELITY OF THE ONE WHO GIVES IT. That ring was placed on the finger by your partner. Don't think its meaning is simply a love that never ends. It represents the commitment, love and faithfulness of your spouse to you! The wedding rings are never taken off because we're to see it as an ongoing reminder of the promise made to us by that other person.





The tears and emotions flooding through every parent who has witnessed the most memorable, important event in the lives of their children can be impossible to put into words. Years of images topple over one another in a flash of memory as we symbolically hand over our children to begin a life outside of our own.

So now it is time to turn the page and begin another chapter in this book we call life. 

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENTS, WEEK 19, May 7 - May 13

Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much

May 7
"What you know in your head will not sustain you in moments of crisis...confidence comes from body awareness, knowing what you feel in the moment."
Marion Woodman

Our feelings are what makes us human, yet we live in a society that tends to see feelings as fickle, irrational and unnecessary for the road to personal success. Maybe for a robotic society that may be correct but certainly not for the success of what makes for the intricate beings we really are. Feelings are a gift that brings us in touch with the world we live in, that connects us with each other, gives us the signals we need to read behavior and cope with life in general.

May 8
"She would greet us pleasantly, and immediately she seemed to surround the chaotic atmosphere of morning strife with something of order, of efficient and quiet uniformity, so that one had the feeling that life was small and curiously ordered."
Meridel LeSueur

We can all relate to situations such as this. The domino effect is happening and things may appear to be getting out of hand. One person's high-strung energy may be trying to emit control and order but in doing so, that charged, nervous energy is filtering around the room creating tension. Another person in the same situation may give off a quiet, confident presence that others tend to gravitate towards; calm, cool and collected. Order that comes from such a person is so much more peaceful, the definition of serenity.

May 9
"You can get lonesome-being that busy."
Isabel Lennart

People who are overly busy all the time may read this and dismiss it. The truth may be that it is possible to not realize we are lonely because we don't stop long enough to be in touch with what we are feeling. Our work can be like a jealous lover, demanding more and more. It is good to be productive, but not at the expense of intimacy and time needed to nurture our relationships with those we love.

May 10
"So instant intimacy was too often followed by disillusion."
May Sarton

While it is possible to feel an instant connection with someone, it is a mistake to think if we find the right person we'll know immediately that this is the one. True intimacy is a process that takes time and if you don't have time for what that involves, then the relationship probably won't develop beyond a quick flame that fizzles rather quickly. It is said that instant intimacy is one of the characteristics of addictive relationships.

May 11
"Each woman is being made to feel it is her own cross to bear if she can't be the perfect clone of the male superman and the perfect clone of the feminine mystique."
Betty Friedan

Sometimes there is just too much to do, too many roles to play, and too much pressure to be and do it all. The way to handle life when the vise starts to tighten is to realize that we have the power to control its turning. Rather than blocking out the anguish all the stress is causing and thinking we are weak if we admit it, we would be much better off if we would just acknowledge what is happening and step out away from it.

May 12
"I wish I'd a knowed more people. I would of loved 'em all. If I'd a knowed more, I would loved more."
Toni Morrison

There is no limit to the amount of love we can share. Love is an energy that is shared because we have it, simple as that. It should not be dolled out as a means to get something in return. It should not be parceled out in piecemeal due to the fear that to give freely will only get us hurt. Love is something that flows out of out deep sense of loving ourselves. It is not possible to love another if we don't know and love ourselves. Once we love who we are, we'll be much more open to getting to know other people. We'll soon learn there is plenty of that love to go around and the reserves won't be drained dry.

May 13
"The thing about having a baby is that thereafter you have it."
Jean Kerr

While it is true that babies are born a clean slate, it is a disillusion to think we can shape them how we see fit and they'll stay that way. Parenting is an intimate, interactive process that continues for the rest of our lives. Only when we stop with the fantasy child image can we begin to see who these little people really are. And when we do that it is a great step in giving our children the autonomy they need to develop into independent adults.



To read the previous posts:

To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28

Week 5 January 29 - February 4
Week 6 February 5 - February 11
Week 7 February 12 - February 18
Week 8 February 19 - February 25

Week 9 February 26 - March 4
Week 10 March 5 - March 11
Week 11 March 12 - March 18 
Week 12 March 19 - March 25
Week 13 March 26 - April 1 

Week 14 April 2 - April 8 
Week 15 April 9 - April 15 
Week 16 April 16 - April 22
Week 17 April 23 - 29 

Week 18 April 30 - May 6

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENTS, WEEK 17, April 23 - April 29

Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much

April 23
"Shit work is infinitely safe. In exchange for doing it you can extract an unconscionable return...the women's pound of flesh."
Colette Dowling

Let's face it, a lot of the work women do is shit work. We do it because it has to get done, as mundane as it can get. Of course there are other things we would rather be doing and we do get tired of cleaning up after others. I think the point Colette is making here is that we cannot get ourselves in the habit of making others feel guilty with our sulky attitude. We may not be able to change a situation at the moment but we can change our attitude towards the situation. If we can make a change, then start the ball rolling to make necessary changes. Seek other employment, be more assertive with your wants, if able, pay for outside help in the home, learn to direct others to help out, and there is always the option to just say no.

April 24
"Out of the strain of the Doing, Into the peace of the Done."
Julia Louise Woodruff

There is always work to be done and ideally, when a task or project is complete we can stand back and be proud of ourselves for a job well done. If we believe in the "work before play" philosophy then once the work is done there is no problem with then going off and having a good time. The problem with workaholics is that they never feel okay with "being done". There is a sense of guilt with doing nothing, as if they are wasting time, as if they'll be judged as being lazy. Should someone walk in and "catch them" there is the impulse to jump up. Being projectless and being worthless are not synonymous. Where does this guilt all start anyway?

April 25
"The experience of God, or in any case the possibility of experiencing God, is innate."
Alice Walker

We as humans have a natural yearning to believe in something greater than ourselves. There is no need to seek out professional advice on how to "find" God. We don't have to look for the possibility of experiencing a greater power, it is already within us. The key is to stop thinking there is an instruction book. There is no need to get so into rituals that we neglect the necessity to seek within ourselves in order to feel something.

April 26
"The season is changeable, fitful, and maddening as I am myself these days that are cloaked with too many demands and engagements."
May Sarton

When we do not recognize the signs telling us that we have become overloaded, we end up in situations that involve drama, emotion, misunderstandings and unintended outbursts. The classic red flag that we need time for ourselves is if we constantly say to ourselves, "I wish I could just be left alone." Keep it up and you will be left alone because bridges will be burned and people will avoid you. We have to become better at taking care of ourselves, taking necessary time outs and avoid such a crisis.

April 27
"I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude."
Judith M. Knowlton

Once our judgement gets to the point that we feel in a corner and trapped, we forget about the power of compromise. To feel there are no options other than to stay in a situation or else leave, is often just not true. Often it is not the situation that is keeping us stuck but our attitude about our situation. To lighten or shift perspective isn't denying the right you have to feel as you do, but if the burden is harming your mental and physical health, perhaps it is time to let it go.

April 28
"Oh, it was a glorious morning! I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. It certainly helps one to believe in Him."
Dodie Smith

When we go through our days and barely notice the change of seasons, it is time to stop and look up. Too often when we listen to the weather report it is for no other reason than to know ahead of time if we will be held up with snow, ice, rain or fog. Those who live in the city are especially prone to missing out on the many gifts of the great outdoors. Taking the time to appreciate a beautiful day is wonderful for reducing stress and perhaps the needed nudge to start living in the moment.

April 29
"All women hustle. Women watch faces, voices, gestures, moods. The person who has to survive through cunning."
Marge Piercy

The ability to notice detail is a wonderful skill. But many of us preen this skill only to evaluate and prepare for every situation we are in. Our fear that whatever we do will not be enough or that we are not enough to really matter anyway, results in living as though our very survival depended on knowing just how to act. There comes a time when we should just say, "enough already, this is who I am, accept it."


To read the previous posts:

To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28

Week 5 January 29 - February 4
Week 6 February 5 - February 11
Week 7 February 12 - February 18
Week 8 February 19 - February 25

Week 9 February 26 - March 4
Week 10 March 5 - March 11
Week 11 March 12 - March 18 
Week 12 March 19 - March 25

Week 13 March 26 - April 1 
Week 14 April 2 - April 8 
Week 15 April 9 - April 15 
Week 16 April 16 - April 22

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENT WEEK SIX February 5 - February 11

Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much

 February 5

"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."
Charlotte Whitton

This quote may strike a nerve with some and only open up the battle of the sexes debate. But the point she is making is that women tend to feel they must work twice as hard and dare not admit just how exhausted they really are. Some women can pump out one task after another and appear unstoppable but at what cost to them? Women so often say they are 'tired of being tired' yet have a fear of giving a bit of it all up since, "My tiredness is mine, I've earned it".

February 6

"Neither reproaches nor encouragements are able to revive a faith that is waning."
Nathalie Sarraute

One of the problems with organized religion is that we are told what to believe, and feel to question is wrong as that must mean a lack of faith. That is very sad since sometimes beliefs can actually interfere with our connection with a power greater than ourselves. Faith is a very personal process. No one can give us the answers about our spirituality. Reading and thinking is great, but we must search inside ourselves and have our own understanding of God and trust our own knowing. Our spirituality is connected with who we are.

February 7

"Tension grew at home, and my work suffered as I committed to tighter and tighter deadlines."
Ellen Sue Stern

It is a myth that workaholics are always productive with a job well done. Maybe in the beginning, when we still feel in tight control. But over time, people get tired, whether they admit it or not. Health suffers, families suffer and the work suffers. Too much on one plate may end up with things getting done, but as the saying goes, it's half-assed.

February 8

"Well we start out in our lives as little children, full of light and the clearest vision"
Brenda Ueland

Once a person realizes to be a workaholic is an addiction, and treats it as such, he or she often looks back and experiences a moment of clarity for the first time in perhaps years. We realize how we have lost our focus in life with all the business and deadlines. It can be like hearing a lullaby from long ago. The words are faint but the melody dawns on us and becomes more apparent.

February 9

"Though a tree grow ever high, the falling leaves return to the ground."
Malay proverb

Personal success deserves recognition and due reward for our efforts. But we cannot forgot those who have helped us get where we are. There are those who perhaps stepped on anyone in the way to rise up the ladder, but for the most part, successful people have a support system, probably quiet and unnoticed in the background. Let us acknowledge and be grateful since our success also says a lot about them.

February 10

"Some people talk simply because they think sound is more manageable than silence."
Margaret Halsey

Some people find silence very unnerving. They seem to need to talk just to fill up the void. But endless chatter often results in no one really listening, we to ourselves or anyone who has to listen.
We have to realize that we don't have to fill up every minute, be it with sound or busyness.

February 11

"When Peter left me, the negative emotions that rose up in me and exploded in me were just horrifying. But God kept telling me that they were all part of me and I couldn't try to hide them under the carpet because I didn't like them."
Eileen Caddy

When pushed to the limit of exhaustion, pent up frustrations, or feelings of betrayal in relationships, we may see a side of ourselves we didn't think possible. While good to get it all out so those feelings don't simmer away, it doesn't have to become a meltdown or explosion. We have to be okay with having feelings and not be in the 'good little girl syndrome' all the time. We need to realize that the full gamut of emotions is totally normal. We can learn a lot about ourselves when we become aware of how we tend to deal with emotions.



To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28
Week 5 January 29 - February 4

A Veterans Day Note of Gratitude

Veteran's Day is a day in honor of our American armed forces for their sacrifice, stamina, and dedication to their country. They have made a commitment, that as a united force, enables us to choose our own choices with our lives, to speak our minds and go where we please. The fact that all the men and women in the armed forces are voluntary is an amazing concept to grasp.

It is true that all men must register with the Selective Service when they turn 18 years of age. This is done in case there is ever the need for combat soldiers, but even then it is completely random as to how those person's are chosen. Everyone is on the same level, with no partiality to social status. The reason women aren't required to register is not that they wouldn't be able to serve, but that registration is for the purpose of preparing combat troops. Women had been excluded from combat in the past but that is no longer the case.

The thought may be with some as to why in the world someone would voluntarily enter into something that will literally control their lives and possibly put them in harms way. Those who do so are of the mindset that our country needs help to maintain her principles for continued freedom. We should be grateful to live in the U.S.A and have protection from those who may want to do us harm. We have to realize that while we have our rights, those rights are a privilege. Those rights were earned through the sacrifices of those before us, who fought for what they believed, many losing their lives in the process.

We should have the utmost respect for anyone who signs those enlistment papers. Of course we want peace and for all of our young people to be safe at home. But given the fact that we live in a world of dispute and violence, even if you don't agree with current politics, the fact remains that we can sleep at night with the security that we have our military always on watch. So let us support the decisions of those who chose to walk this path. Let us support them with our prayers, and encourage them to stand tall with pride in their contributions for this country.

Our son is amidst the tired, yet proud group of men and women pictured above, who had just completed their Army Basic Training. When you think that all of them are volunteers, and the fact that with every cycle of training, there will be another group standing there in that same place, it is indeed something to be appreciated.

Take a moment not only today, but every day, to say a silent prayer of gratitude and safe keeping for all of those who serve. Let them know they are appreciated and not taken for granted.

Enjoy your Veterans Day!

Eagle Scout Challenge

Memorial Day weekend is a reminder for us to acknowledge and respect those who sacrificed their lives so we can enjoy the freedoms of this country.

As our son received his highest honor in scouting, The Eagle Scout, we truly felt the pride of being a citizen of the United States.


Our ideal goal for our son as he went through the ranks of Boy Scouts over the years was to develop a young boy into a man who is conscious of living by the Scout Oath.

"Duty to God and Country,
Duty to other people,
Duty to Self"

To know and serve God is how we show our duty to God.
To work for the country's good and obey its laws is how you show your duty to your country.
The duty to oneself is shown by taking care of mind and body so we stay strong and healthy.

By the age of 18, should a boy stay with scouting he has the opportunity to achieve Scouting's highest award, The Eagle Scout challenge. By fulfilling the Boy Scout requirements in addition to the completion of a community service project, the scout proudly enters the ranks of promising high achievers.

Honor is the foundation of all character. To be trustworthy is the foremost responsibility in which an Eagle Scout should live his life. The color white represents honor.

Loyalty is the second obligation of an Eagle Scout. Devotion to God, family, community, and one's ideals. This is signified by the color blue.

To be courageous in times of challenge, uncertainty and danger is esteemed by everyone. The color red is a reminder of courage.

To be cheerful is not always easy, but amazing how a smile can influence those around us.

To be of service is the utmost responsibility of an Eagle Scout. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you", and the daily Good Turn take on new meaning as a boy enters the adult world. The scout motto memorized since Cub Scout days is "Be Prepared". To be able to handle the pressures and challenges of being on your own requires a child to have matured in character and sense.

Jared's service project involved raising awareness in the Christian community of the important role music plays in reaching the youth of today's world. Typically parents have their children complete CCD classes within the Catholic Church or Confirmation classes within the Protestant church, and then being they have no obligation to attend upon completion, they slip away. Usually the reason is that they think the services are boring or just don't feel anything.

Music is the key to getting through to a teenager or young adult. Spiritual messages portrayed through song can become meaningful and impressionable in a positive way. Song lyrics are often similar to poetry and written in a way people can empathize.

Jared held a concert featuring six bands. Those attending brought a monetary donation or canned goods for a local charity. He even had a local youth pastor deliver a very appropriate message relating to the challenges facing today's young people.

As we celebrate Memorial Day, let us think fondly and proudly of all our men and women who showed utmost character and strength by serving in the military. May their contributions and memory never fade or lose value.

Christmas Babies

Christmas 2010 will always be a year remembered in our household because it was a milestone year for our two children. It was our daughter's last Christmas before college graduation and our son's last Christmas before high school graduation. For as exciting as it was for all of us to plan the next moves in their lives, it was also a very reflective time to think back on past holidays.
Now, five years later, we not only have two college graduates, but both of them are married and off on their own! The word reflective is an understatement, by now it's more of a need for a tissue box.
.
Twenty-three years ago on Dec. 24 our son came into this world too early, too traumatically.

Dealing with Systemic Lupus, my pregnancy was a very planned, high risk ordeal from the start. An autoimmune condition, my body treated this child as an invasion and tried to reject its presence. With lupus the immune system is in overdrive and actually turns on itself. Steroids and blood thinners helped keep things under control in hopes to at least get beyond the congenital age of 28 weeks. We made it to 32 weeks before things started to go very wrong and the birth was induced. Toxemia and thrombosis became a risk to both myself and the baby.
Whisked away immediately to the neonatal intensive care unit it wasn't exactly the scene a mother envisions.

Mother Nature is quite amazing. Our son's nervous system and lungs were both strong for his congenital age, while his body's ability to keep itself warm was underdeveloped. Breathing on his own was a definite plus. He just needed time to continue to grow. Our tiny baby remained in the hospital a month to gain body fat and once he hit five pounds was allowed to go home.



By that time my own flare-up from the Lupus was under control, for I had ended up back in the hospital myself, and I was more than ready for him to come home. My poor husband, I'm sure he was a wreck, but as too often the case, emotional support for the husband/dad is often overlooked.
Mid-January was our Christmas celebration that year, and the tree was still up and waiting for us.

Over the years, our son thrived and caught up developmentally. Premature children have immature nervous systems which can result in being overly sensitive to stimuli such as noise, light, touch or stress. Told in most cases these children catch up developmentally by the age of eight, we didn't worry over every little setback from teachers. I think one of the most annoying things with evaluations is the tendency to label children with some type of developmental disorder. My mother's best advise for raising children was "this too shall pass".

Children need to know they are good at some thing, some passion. With him, it was music. He received his first acoustic guitar for his ninth birthday. His passion for music went beyond a hobby. To take an idea and put it to words and then to music is amazing. Songwriting really is poetry set to music. Studying lyrics and what those words are saying can be a very useful tool to understand one's child and how they think.
Below is a song written at the age of 18 when social issues, politics and ethics weigh heavily on the minds of our young people about to step out into the real world.





Upon graduating from High School, college was the goal, but after his freshman year, being the high achiever he is, he took his future one step further and joined the Army. As a mother, the jumble of emotions felt over this voluntary decision was overwhelming at times. While many young people his age are more into relationships and parties, here this young man was mapping out his financial and career path. The lyrics of the above song hint at what has now become a desire to work in journalism, and using the military to gain contacts and connections seemed the ideal route to attain that goal.

Now an American soldier, our Christmas baby of 1992 will be turning 23, another birthday celebration for our once three pound baby who has become quite the young man. With college under his belt, commissioned as Second Lieutenant in the U.S. Army, his beautiful bride by his side, the world is opening up with opportunity.
He certainly took to heart his Dad's advice whenever unsure about a decision, "When in doubt, go for it.".

And let that be our Holiday wish for all of our young people entering adulthood in this insecure world in which we live.

Happy Holidays!

July 25, 2015