A Toast to Our Children in the Blessing of Marriage

Weddings are a wonderful opportunity for friends and family to gather, put aside their differences, and focus on the happiness of two people united in love and their new chapter in life. As parents, we can only hope the nervous bride and groom can focus on the service enough to get anything out of its message. The Pastor gave some very important messages for any of us striving for a successful and lasting relationship.

People often view their partner as the missing piece needed to make them whole. We cannot view ourselves as an incomplete puzzle with our partner as that missing piece. It sounds romantic to speak poetic like that but to take it literally puts the partner in the position to feel pressured and in part responsible for the other person's happiness. We are not a possession of one another.

The secret of a healthy relationship is to not say to ourselves, "Am I loved?", but rather "Am I loving?" To continually question whether we are loved does nothing but put the other person in the position to feel tested and having to prove his/her love. We are told that love is a verb which is very true. To love is an action but we have to stop interpreting every little annoying thing our spouse does as failing us in some way. That "if he loved me he wouldn't be so thoughtless" or "if he loved me he would already know that without me having to tell him".  That pattern of thinking adds to our own insecurity which soon puts a wedge between two people. Insecurity becomes very draining to any type of relationship and the end result is the desire to escape.

To ask ourselves whether we are loving forces us to observe our behavior and how we must appear to that other person. It puts us outside of ourselves in a better position to focus on where our energy is being spent, are we focusing more on giving or receiving.  

YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO CHANGE A PERSON OR A SITUATION, BUT YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS THAT PERSON OR SITUATION
There are often occasions that we are up against the wall and finally realize that we just have to "accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference". Once you fully accept "it is what it is" a tremendous burden will be lifted, and you'll be amazed how much better you feel.

When two people both hold their ground over their differences, emotions tend to escalate and things just get worse. Whether the other person is "wrong" or not isn't the point. The point is that the only thing we can really change is our attitude about a situation. 

FOCUS ON THE FAULTS OF YOURSELF AND THE GOODNESS IN YOUR PARTNER.
Too often we expect our partner to behave as we would in a given situation. It is almost like we wish that person to be a version of ourselves. It is much easier to find fault in someone else or the circumstances of a situation than to stand back and take a hard look at ourselves. It takes work and an open mind to seek self-improvement and self-enlightenment without the defense mechanisms of denial and projection standing in the way.  You'll get much farther with communication if you make an effort to build up that person rather than tear down. The two words you should try not to use are "never" and "always". Those words immediately put the other person on the defensive which can easily send the conversation downhill rather quickly.

TRY TO ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOUR PARTNER IS A GIFT. Everything about what makes that person a unique individual is now yours to share and vice versa. Obviously, those traits are what each person fell in love with in the first place. Yet it is so easy to loose focus on any of that once the honeymoon phase is past and life settles into an everyday routine with all the pressures and worries of reality. Make a point to regularly stand back and appreciate this person who actually wants to share a life with you. Once you realize that this person standing before you is a gift from God everything about them becomes more amazing and something to treasure.

Everyone has their own beliefs in the existence of a power greater than ourselves. Relationships are so much easier and stronger when both partners share in those convictions. The world doesn't revolve around us and those who share the security of seeking a higher power for strength and guidance relieve themselves of the drain of worrying about that which is beyond our control.

THE RING IS A SIGN OF THE LOVE AND FIDELITY OF THE ONE WHO GIVES IT. That ring was placed on the finger by your partner. Don't think its meaning is simply a love that never ends. It represents the commitment, love and faithfulness of your spouse to you! The wedding rings are never taken off because we're to see it as an ongoing reminder of the promise made to us by that other person.





The tears and emotions flooding through every parent who has witnessed the most memorable, important event in the lives of their children can be impossible to put into words. Years of images topple over one another in a flash of memory as we symbolically hand over our children to begin a life outside of our own.

So now it is time to turn the page and begin another chapter in this book we call life. 

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENTS, WEEK TEN, MARCH 5 - MARCH 11

Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much

 March 5

"Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty."
Mother Teresa

It is said that loneliness is not outside, it's inside.
To some it may be hard to understand how a person can be dealing with people all day yet feel all alone. But for many of us who are constantly busy with little extra time to really connect with those we interact with, we may feel very little real connection, and that can be a lonely place. Avoiding a real closeness with people may be a way of avoiding intimacy or getting hurt. For those who feel they can easily be alone and not be lonely, than fine. But for those who feel out of sync and try to fill that void with busyness, they need to reconnect with their spiritual being in order to rediscover what is in their hearts.

March 6

"It has been wisely said that we cannot really love anybody at whom we never laugh."
Agnes Repplier

To be oversensitive and not be able to laugh at ourselves or at one another, is probably going to result in the failure of an intimate relationship. Getting to really know a person involves seeing their "moments" of what it is to be human. We aren't robots. We stumble and flounder and often make fools of ourselves. To be able to put the ego aside and laugh at it all creates relationships that are grounded in reality, and that is the foundation for intimacy.

March 7

"If, as someone has said,"...to be truly civilized, is to embrace disease..."
Robyn Davidson

The world can be a crazy place. When we are in situations where it just seems bizarre, over time our ability to separate what makes sense from what doesn't may get to the point where we question our own sanity. In trying to constantly adjust to crazy situations, we may start to question what is normal, what is dysfunction and what it really means to "go with the flow".  No, we're not crazy, it is just that a situation may seem to require a crazy person.

March 8

"I found God in myself and I loved her/I loved her fiercely."
Ntozake Shange

"Contact with God is so simple, and we make it so difficult."
It is only when we really know ourselves that we can become aware of the divinity that we share with all things. We are part of this whole scheme of things and once we can love ourselves we can connect with a higher power. Western culture may not appear to value the fact that spirituality is an important  basic need, just as are the physical, emotional and psychological sides.

March 9

"Part of my satisfaction and exultation at each eruption was unmistakably feminist solidarity. You men think you're the only ones that can make a really nasty mess? You think you got all the firepower and God's on your side? You think you run things? Watch this, gents. Watch the Lady act like a woman."
Ursula K. Le Guin

Isn't it interesting that uncontrollable acts of nature are so often given female names. Our technocratic society so often identifies nature as female, a force that is unpredictable and often difficult to control. Mount Saint Helens has become such a symbol. We not only have no control over her eruptions, we can not even predict what she is going to do  next, even with constant surveillance. Nature tells us again and again that we are not always in charge. It is hysterical that when a female simmers silently she is described as a typical woman, and when she blows her top she is also described as a typical woman.

March 10

"I am suddenly filled with that sense of peace and meaning which is, I suppose, what the pious have in mind when they talk about the practice of the presence of God."
Valerie Taylor

The word serenity is something we throw around as needing, yet rarely act upon understanding what it really means. To begin slowing down and taking time out for better mental and physical health, we can catch moments of peace and calm. We have to see these moments as a special thing and not get bored the moment we step away from all the action and drama around us. Serenity is available to all of us.

March 11

"My tidiness and my untidiness, are full of regret and remorse and complex feelings."
Natalia Ginzburg

If nothing else in life, try to remember what is important. End of life regrets so often include not pursuing our passions out of guilt over what we "should" be doing. Responsibilities very easily take precedence over what we would really rather be doing. Try to put your life into chapters. Things that had to wait at one point in life can hopefully be pursued at a later time. For example, being a great housekeeper with a spotless home is wonderful, but if keeping everything "just so" is simply unrealistic with whatever else is going on in life, stop self-judging and feeling the need to explain all the time.


To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28

Week 5 January 29 - February 4
Week 6 February 5 - February 11
Week 7 February 12 - February 18
Week 8 February 19 - February 25

Week 9 February 26 - March 4

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENT WEEK 2 1/14/2015

Only week two and already I am late getting the post written.

Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much by Anne Wilson Schaef

January 8, 2015
"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry."
Gloria Steinem

Success demands sacrifice, focus and often the need to put work before everything else. As women this constant battle of where our priorities lie can be very draining. Women have learned how to play the game in a man's world by not letting on just how hard it is to juggle job and family. Very often the man would go off to work and not have to worry about home because his wife was there to hold down the fort. Many successful men must admit they couldn't have achieved what they have if their focus was constantly interrupted with the distractions of home and family. Now that women are trying to achieve the same goals they are finding they don't like the person they have become.

January 9, 2015
"Anger as soon is fed is dead
'Tis starving makes it fat."
Emily Dickinson

Anger is not the problem. What we do with it is. If there is one thing that infuriates women is the craving for respect and not feeling appreciated. We too often push those feelings down again and again until the moment where we explode and usually harm those we love the most. Then when we do have our meltdowns we get even angrier when people don't seem to "get it" and hold that outburst against us. We have to realize that anger is a very normal feeling and there is nothing wrong with that. Anger is harmful when it is held in and starved. We have to find safe outlets for our anger and be aware that it can be our friend by hinting to us that something is wrong.

January 10, 2015
"I don't give myself credit for what I do get done because I have so many projects hanging fire that I haven't done."
Chris

We have to stop with the seeing the glass as half-empty rather than half-full. If we put our to-do list down on paper and check them off we can see how much we really did get done in a day. There is always going to be something else added to our plate. Realizing that and feeling accomplished will help us sleep better.

January 11, 2015
"People change and forget to tell each other."
Lillian Hellman

The only constant is change. It is an illusion that there will be a time when we will get our lives in order and it will stay that way! The only way we can grow and become is through change. When those dearest to us make that step we have to be happy for them and not feel left behind or personally attacked.

January 12, 2015
"To gain that which is worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else."
Bernadette Devlin

Sometimes we become very dramatic with our lives and believe that if we are to get what we want, we have to give up a lot of what makes us who we are. How often do we finally have an open slate of a day ahead to do anything we want and just wonder what happened to that person who used to have so many interests. It is never too late to re-examine our choices. We always have choices.

January 13, 2015
"And beyond even self-doubt no writer can justify ruthlessness for the sake of his work, because being human to the fullest possible extent is what his work demands of him."
May Sarton

Often told that to make it in the world we cannot be soft, but rather we need to be ruthless and harden our shell. This attitude does not often come naturally for a woman, and to achieve the success she wants, she just may pay the price of forgetting who she really is. We cannot lose touch with our humanness, our morality and spirituality. We have to unbury ourselves from the layers that make up that shell.

January 14, 2015
"Why indeed must 'God' be a noun? Why not a verb...the most active and dynamic of all?"
Mary Daly

Some of us were raised with the notion that God is something or someone who is a mega-controller. What if we saw God as a process of the universe and that we are part of that process. We can be part of that process by being who we are and not who we think we should be or who others think we should be. If God is a process and I am a process, we have something in common with which to begin.

Read the Meadow Muffin Moments from week 1, 1-1-15 to 1-7-15

Nature's Fury

"Mom, people say when bad weather hits it is "God's fury". Does that mean He is mad at us?"

Oh, from the mouths of babes. A classic moment when the child becomes the teacher in that such questions make us adults think enough to perhaps learn something.

In 2011 we had Hurricane Irene and now we have Hurricane Sandy to contend with as she makes her way up the east coast of the United States. As we prepare for the likelihood of damage and power outages, that question from years back popped into my head. I'm not sure what exactly I had said in response at that time, but with seemingly one natural disaster after another, it does make one ponder life in general.

 The human race has always interpreted such life events with various explanations:
Have we always had such catastrophic weather but now with the media we are notified and caught up in every bit of news about climate changes all over the world?
Are we humans the cause of the chaos by upsetting our ecosystem?
Has God had enough of our messing up His creation and sending us a clear message of the consequences?

Out of curiosity I looked up man's history of thinking about such events.

Prior to 1500 BC world events were governed by the gods of a particular religion or mythology. Everything in nature contains a spirit and the earth is like a Great Mother. Prayer and sacrifices were made in efforts to make life a bit easier.

Classical Greece (400 - 100 BC) brought us Aristotle and Plato who established the foundation for the development of science and the traditions of the western world.

By Medieveal times (400 - 1400 AD) a Christian God reigned over everything. Life was a strict hierarchy where God ruled at the top with children and animals at the very bottom. The "Will of God" was paramount; what the Church dictated was how life was or the person suffered the consequences. Human actions were not explained, only judged as good or evil. God was feared in the literal sense. When bad things happened people felt somehow they deserved to be punished.

During the Renaissance (1500 - 1850 AD), God was still to be behind everything and set things in motion, but science provided an objective view of the universe. By the late 19th century all spiritual forces were removed from the universe and everything was explained objectively through science.
Since nature was thought to have no meaning, it was common thought to exploit it for whatever it was worth to enhance the life of humans. It was thought that technology could solve all of our problems.
As people became more literate and had access to reading material they began to think for themselves about matters of spirituality and behavior.

So as our population has grown to nearly seven billion people, we can now deal with the consequences of our actions and try to clean things up and find alternative sources of energy to fuel our modern wants and needs.

Christians today feel they can have a personal relationship with God and the term 'fearful' not to be interpreted literally, but rather a matter of respect and awe.

To interpret our weather patterns as God's way of punishing us is not the mainstream thought in today's modern thinking. We may jokingly kid about "God's fury" but few of us really believe we humans are a central focus to the point that even the weather revolves around us.

It makes more sense that the weather patterns are along Newton's thinking. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The goal of mother nature is to survive and if at all possible she will amidst consequence and change. How we as a species have to adapt to survive that change, only time will tell.

Life is what it is. Take the advice of Harold Kushner, the Conservative rabbi who wrote the book, "When Bad Things Happen To Good People". Stuff happens.
The trick to not getting down is to not expect life to be smooth sailing, things just happen and we have to deal with them.

Ecclesiastes 3:1
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven

One thing we as a society should learn is not to put ourselves in the position to be totally helpless should the system break down. We as a culture are so intertwined that our daily lives seem to come to an absolute halt when the power goes out. We are so dependent on electricity to power our lights, water pumps, phone chargers, internet service, etc. that many feel helpless and cut off when suddenly without these services.

 Throughout history man has known how to survive by making do, doing without and utilizing skills of survival so they can be self-sustaining when need be.  Plan ahead for emergencies. Use a generator for back up power or have a place to go for a few days. Have a secondary heat source such as a wood, coal or pellet stove. In the event you can't get to the grocery store, know how to prepare your own meals from scratch, bake your own bread, stock up on things like bottled water, dry milk, canned goods, dry goods, batteries and candles. If you garden, learn how put up the surplus fruits and vegetables by canning, freezing or drying.

Remember the Boy Scout motto..."Be Prepared"
And also remember my mother's motto..."This too shall pass."

Understand the Great Halloween Pumpkin

 Charles Schulz' views of American customs and life in general have been teaching and entertaining us for over fifty years.

 I can remember as a child reading the cartoon strips and at times I thought, "I don't get it.", though knowing full well there is a bit of wisdom right in front of me.  The 'something' that is outside of each of the characters would be obvious once I understood. 

"It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" portrays the struggle between existentialism and religious determinism. The Western fear of Paganism has always reached its height on October 31, originally the closing date on the pre-Christian Celtic calendar and marked be Druid harvest practices.  All Saints' Day was introduced by the pope in the 7th century as a way to counter the effects of the pagan festival.  Brought to the United States in the 1800's by Irish immigrants, Halloween is mainly regarded as a social gathering, a holiday for children, with little thought to its being connected to the restless afterlife.  The Great Pumpkin attempts to find the spiritual in the mundane and to locate the divine in the pagan.

For the Peanuts gang, the world is an inhospitable place.  Narrow-minded and gullible, Charlie Brown sees the world as cruel and unforgiving.  Day in and day out he falls into the same patterns of behavior resulting in the failure once again.  Many of us can relate to Charlie Brown because we often find ourselves going through life making the same mistakes over and over.

Violet's Halloween party with all its temptations of fun and frolic pulls the rest of the gang into the excitement of the now, and Linus is mocked for missing out and choosing to separate himself and wait for the unknown rather than enjoy the obvious.  Even Sally loses interest and joins the festivities, portraying the message of how often the chasm of beliefs can put a wedge within a relationship.

Linus seeks religion and philosophy as the key to understanding his universe.  Rather than letting Charlie Brown's self-pity in why things are the way they are, Linus believes there must be something beyond the ordinary everyday happenings, a divine purpose.  He doesn't give an air of superiority over his peers but his perceptions set him apart from the rest of the gang, similar to the way those of us with strong convictions feel so alone among the majority in our society.  Linus clings to his thumb and blanket for security and comfort.  The Great Pumpkin is symbolic as the 'sign' that there may be something greater in which to believe even if we must continue to wait.  We need to keep firm in whatever foundation of faith we have and to understand that some things in life are just a mystery.

Charles Schulz' writings reflect his own personal search for understanding and meaning.  He portrayed very well the message that for those who keep on searching, the world can be an unforgiving and perhaps lonely place.  But life is what it is and though an unpredictable blend of tears of joy as well as grief, we mustn't give up on the fascination of this mysterious journey.

If interested in the complete article "The Book of Linus" by Michael Koresky go to:
It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

Let Go, Let God

Every crack was followed by a shattering crash of splintered wood and ice crystals.
Fascinating how drawn we are to witness destruction by nature herself.

Such similarities to our human condition.
Tree limbs are designed to give and flex amidst a storm.
Given the right conditions even the mighty oak will be pushed beyond its limits.

So as we build up our safety net of walls, something changes within our very hearts.
Just as the tree limbs are encased in these shields of ice, our inner souls begin to withdraw.

Smiling to the world, though one step out of reach.
The icy weight pulls down a little,
a little more 'till we snap.

Broken branches litter the ground, the fury of the natural world is spent.
Those tears too need to fall, surround you in a pool to drown the hurt.

Show the dark an open door,
Allow in the sun, so full of cheer.
Tears may be jewels, our own to keep,
But let them melt, and smile as you weep.
Let it go,
Let it all out.

January Blues

January means different things to different people.

For some it is a time of excitement with a blank calender of new opportunities and plans for a new year. For others it is a time of quiet reflection as life calms down after the holidays. It is easy to feel yourself sinking into a sense of aloneness and even depression as it seems everyone goes back into their own little world. It doesn't help that with winter comes cold, gray, dismal days and not near enough cheerful sunshine.

My mother is retired, lives alone, and refuses to drive if there is even a hint of ice or threat of snow on the roads. So her days are often isolated and lonely unless someone goes to her, and since she isn't a very socially active person she is alone most of the time. I tell her all the time she needs more company than the television.

We go through this every year once she puts her outside work to bed and the weather forces her inside. She needs to fill her life with the following to keep up her spirits.

Fill your world with music, color, something to take care of, books and/or puzzles, a craft, some form of people contact, and some form of exercise.

1. Music is a must to drift away into the past, reflect on life's loves, have a good cry, calm down anxieties, sing along and/or dance (you are never too old to sway, tap or dance as though no one is watching).

2. Color is a great stimulation and mood lifter.

If you love the outdoors, bring the outdoors inside to you. Bring life into your home.

Taking care of plants is beneficial in many ways. They are beautiful to look at, even bond with. They improve the quality of the air. By February or March you can bring twigs of dogwood, forsythia or cherry inside and the temperature change will fool them into going into bloom.

Get a pet, something to need you. Even a fish needs care. There are so many pets of all kinds who need homes. If you are older and are afraid a pet would outlive you opt for a senior pet. You're probably saving its life if from a shelter. An older pet is already housebroken, usually knows its manners and is out of the destructive stage.

Add new color to your decor. Paint a room, learn to stencil on either the walls or pillows, add a few pretty lap blankets or pillows to your couch, change the curtains, rearrange the pictures on the walls or even paint an original.

3. Read a book. It's a shame the people don't read like in the past. Television really does make the mind lazy. I think TV is great entertainment when you are too tired to think about anything but it tends to deaden the mind as well.

I've always been aware that as long as I read I can remember how to spell. I used to be able to just look at a word and recognize whether it was correct. I find lately I have to look it up more and more often. Maybe it goes with age, but reading definitely keeps the mind sharp.

4. Do a puzzle. Puzzles can pass the time like nothing else. Whether its word games, crossword puzzles, or an actual 1000 piece puzzle, they are good for your brain.

5. Always have some sort of project started. You probably learned to do crafts or sewing projects when young and then with a busy family and/or job they just got left in the dust. Sewing, be it hand sewing such as embroidery, or machine sewing, is so very therapeutic. Completed handcrafts offer so much satisfaction when completed and are wonderful, appreciated gifts to pass on to loved ones. I look at my wall hangings and am in awe of the time and patience it took to finally finish.

6. Volunteer or periodically get together with someone.

Humans just aren't meant to be alone. Even introverts need social contact now and then. We need to feel like we have accomplished something in a day and feel productive. Especially hard for parents of grown children or retirees is the lack of purpose in life. Once you have time you'll be amazed how good it feels to offer your talents without the need to be paid. Just knowing you made someone smile or life a little easier is enough to put a smile on your own face.

Having a sense of community is one good reason being a member of a church or local organization is so emotionally rewarding. You get out, you know what is going on in the neighborhood, and you have a social network should you need help.

7. Move your body, stretch out your back, something. You'll be amazed how good it feels to just release tension in the back and neck. Remember, if you don't use it you'll lose it. Jobs today require far too much time trapped at a desk, resulting in poor posture which often leads in the need for a periodic trip to a chiropractor to get things back in alignment.

It does a world of good to feel good about yourself. If you feel good it shows to those around you just by how you carry yourself.

Take care of yourself mentally and physically.

Meadow Muffin Gardens has many products to help you do that :)

Happy New Year, keep up your spirits, frowning adds more wrinkles than smiling :))

This Etsy Treasury listing definitely is a spirit booster!
http://www.etsy.com/treasury/4d448f99ae216d91b9b6dcf6/seasonal-color-deprivation?index=3

http://www.meadowmuffingardens.com

http://meadowmuffin2010.etsy.com

Christmas Babies

Christmas 2010 will always be a year remembered in our household because it was a milestone year for our two children. It was our daughter's last Christmas before college graduation and our son's last Christmas before high school graduation. For as exciting as it was for all of us to plan the next moves in their lives, it was also a very reflective time to think back on past holidays.
Now, five years later, we not only have two college graduates, but both of them are married and off on their own! The word reflective is an understatement, by now it's more of a need for a tissue box.
.
Twenty-three years ago on Dec. 24 our son came into this world too early, too traumatically.

Dealing with Systemic Lupus, my pregnancy was a very planned, high risk ordeal from the start. An autoimmune condition, my body treated this child as an invasion and tried to reject its presence. With lupus the immune system is in overdrive and actually turns on itself. Steroids and blood thinners helped keep things under control in hopes to at least get beyond the congenital age of 28 weeks. We made it to 32 weeks before things started to go very wrong and the birth was induced. Toxemia and thrombosis became a risk to both myself and the baby.
Whisked away immediately to the neonatal intensive care unit it wasn't exactly the scene a mother envisions.

Mother Nature is quite amazing. Our son's nervous system and lungs were both strong for his congenital age, while his body's ability to keep itself warm was underdeveloped. Breathing on his own was a definite plus. He just needed time to continue to grow. Our tiny baby remained in the hospital a month to gain body fat and once he hit five pounds was allowed to go home.



By that time my own flare-up from the Lupus was under control, for I had ended up back in the hospital myself, and I was more than ready for him to come home. My poor husband, I'm sure he was a wreck, but as too often the case, emotional support for the husband/dad is often overlooked.
Mid-January was our Christmas celebration that year, and the tree was still up and waiting for us.

Over the years, our son thrived and caught up developmentally. Premature children have immature nervous systems which can result in being overly sensitive to stimuli such as noise, light, touch or stress. Told in most cases these children catch up developmentally by the age of eight, we didn't worry over every little setback from teachers. I think one of the most annoying things with evaluations is the tendency to label children with some type of developmental disorder. My mother's best advise for raising children was "this too shall pass".

Children need to know they are good at some thing, some passion. With him, it was music. He received his first acoustic guitar for his ninth birthday. His passion for music went beyond a hobby. To take an idea and put it to words and then to music is amazing. Songwriting really is poetry set to music. Studying lyrics and what those words are saying can be a very useful tool to understand one's child and how they think.
Below is a song written at the age of 18 when social issues, politics and ethics weigh heavily on the minds of our young people about to step out into the real world.





Upon graduating from High School, college was the goal, but after his freshman year, being the high achiever he is, he took his future one step further and joined the Army. As a mother, the jumble of emotions felt over this voluntary decision was overwhelming at times. While many young people his age are more into relationships and parties, here this young man was mapping out his financial and career path. The lyrics of the above song hint at what has now become a desire to work in journalism, and using the military to gain contacts and connections seemed the ideal route to attain that goal.

Now an American soldier, our Christmas baby of 1992 will be turning 23, another birthday celebration for our once three pound baby who has become quite the young man. With college under his belt, commissioned as Second Lieutenant in the U.S. Army, his beautiful bride by his side, the world is opening up with opportunity.
He certainly took to heart his Dad's advice whenever unsure about a decision, "When in doubt, go for it.".

And let that be our Holiday wish for all of our young people entering adulthood in this insecure world in which we live.

Happy Holidays!

July 25, 2015

Origins of Our Christmas Traditions

Understanding why people behave as they do is always a fascination. People go through the traditions of our holidays, go to church, spend money, do what is expected, celebrate however their family's have always celebrated, and rarely stop to question 'why?'

The origins of the the candy cane, the Christmas tree,  Christmas carols, Christmas cards and our beloved Rudolph tale are explained below.
And of course I had to include the letter from Virginia Wolf asking the editor of "The Sun" if there really was a Santa Claus. What a wonderful explanation which clears up doubts we all may have had. As Francis P. Church said, "The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see".

THE CANDY CANE
The history of the candy cane can be traced back to Germany. In 1670, the choirmaster at the Cologne Cathedral was said to have bent straight white candy canes into the now-familiar "J" shape to represent a shepherd's staff. He then gave them to children in the choir to keep them happy during long Christmas services. The custom soon spread throughout Europe.

Later, candy canes came to America. A German immigrant by the name of August Imgard was the first person to decorate his Christmas tree with candy canes, back in 1847. Prior to 1900, Christmas cards only showed all-white candy canes. Around that same time, it is said that candy makers started adding peppermint flavors to the candy canes.

This is one version of the Christian candy cane story:
A candymaker in Indiana wanted to make a candy for Christmas that incorporated symbols from the birth, life and death of Jesus Christ.

He began with a stick of pure white candy to symbolize the virgin birth and the purity of Jesus. He then shaped it in the form of a "J" to represent the name of Jesus and the staff of the "Good Shepherd." Finally, he added red stripes to symbolize Jesus' blood and suffering on the cross.

The candymaker hoped that each time someone ate his creation they would be reminded of Jesus and the great love God gave us at Christmas.

The story of the Indiana candymaker has been widely circulated and retold, while other stories suggest the candy cane was created long ago as a secret symbol that would allow persecuted Christians to identify one another. Neither version fits the timeline of historical records. The German choirmaster who is credited with turning the usual straight candy sticks into staff-shaped sweets lived in the late 17th century, long after most of Europe had become Christian, and well before Indiana became a state or candy canes came to America. Also, historical records from various parts of the world show the canes were all-white until the early 1900s.

THE CHRISTMAS TREE
Our beloved Christmas tree traditions are part of a long line of cultures that treasured and worshipped evergreens. With the arrival of the winter solstice, people brought evergreens native to their area into their homes to symbolize life's triumph over death. These included palm leaves, mistletoe, holly, and of course the evergreen tree branches of which we are familiar.

Our modern Christmas tree evolved from the Germans and Scandinavians during the Middle Ages. Legend has it that Martin Luther began the tradition of decorating trees to celebrate Christmas. Around 1500, it is said that being in awe of the beauty of snow dusted evergreens in the woods, he brought a little fir tree indoors, lit it with candles, and used the symbolism to tell the story of Christ's birth.

The arrival of the Christmas tree to the United States most likely began either with Hessian troops during the American Revolution or with German immigrants settling in Pennsylvania and Ohio. Puritans didn't approve of the custom, therefore in New England the tradition spread very slowly.

An actual market for Christmas trees was born in 1851 with the brainstorm of a Mark Carr. He hauled two ox sleds of evergreens into New York City and ended up selling all of them. Within 50 years, one in five American families had a tree at Christmastime, and today the custom is nearly universal.

Interesting is the fact that farms dedicated solely to raising Christmas trees started during the Great Depression. People didn't have money to spend on landscaping, therefore nurserymen began to focus on the care of evergreens and prune them into the preferred symmetrical shape of the Christmas tree. Only six species make up the majority of the nation's Christmas tree trade. Scotch Pine ranks first, followed by the Douglas Fir, Balsam Fir, Spruces and White Pine.

CHRISTMAS SONGS
Most of us know by heart at least a few Christmas songs, and have heard many others, both secular and religious. During the 12th century, St. Francis of Assisi wanted to teach people about the birth of Jesus Christ, and did so by adding religious lyrics to well-known tunes. Many carols were written in Germany during the 14th century.

One of the more well-known hymn today is "Silent Night" which was written in Austria in 1818. Supposedly, on Christmas Eve, Father Joseph Mohr, the pastor of St. Nicholas Church in Oberndorf, solved the dilemma of a broken organ by taking a poem and giving it a melody.

“God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen” comes from England and was written sometime in the 15^th century. It was one of the most popular carols for centuries, finally published around 1833.

CHRISTMAS CARDS
In 1843, Sir Henry Cole commissioned the first commercial Christmas cards in London. The cards were illustrated by John Callcott Horsley with a picture of a family drinking wine and sold for one penny each. Although his design choice was criticized for promoting the "moral corruption" of children, Cole's idea spawned the beginnings of one of the most important holiday traditions.

One interesting aspect of the early history of Christmas cards is that you seldom saw illustrations that depicted snow, Christmas trees, or winter themes. Instead, people preferred to send cards with pictures of flowers, fairies, and lighthearted landscapes that would remind the recipient that Spring would soon be approaching.

 In 1875, Louis Prang became the first printer to offer commercial Christmas cards in the United States. The cards were very successful and quickly spawned a number of cheap imitations that ultimately led to the demise of his business. You can see a sample of cards from this time period by browsing through the gallery on the Emotions Cards Web site.

RUDOLPH-THE-RED-NOSED-REINDEER

A man named Bob May, depressed and broken-hearted, stared out his drafty apartment window into the chilling December night. His four-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing.
Bobs wife, Evelyn, was dying of cancer. Little Barbara couldn't understand why her mummy could never come home.

Barbara looked up into her dad's eyes and asked, "Why isn't Mummy just like everybody else's Mummy?" Bob's jaw tightened and his eyes welled with tears. Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger.

It had been the story of Bob's life. Life always had to be different for Bob. Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he'd rather not remember. From childhood, Bob was different and never seemed to fit in.

Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and was grateful to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression. Then he was blessed with his little girl. But it was all short-lived. Evelyn's bout with cancer stripped them of all their savings and now Bob and his daughter were forced to live in a two-room apartment in the Chicago slums.

Evelyn died just days before Christmas in 1938. Bob struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn't even afford to buy a Christmas gift. But if he couldn't buy a gift, he was determined to make one - a storybook!

Bob had created a character in his own mind and told the animal's story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope. Again and again Bob told the story, embellishing it more with each telling.

The story Bob May created was his own autobiography in fable form. The character he created was a misfit outcast like he was. A little reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose.

Bob finished the book just in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas Day. But the story doesn't end there. The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book.

Wards went on to print, 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' and distribute it to children visiting Santa Claus in their stores. By 1946 Wards had printed and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph. That same year, a major publisher wanted to purchase the rights from Wards to print an updated version of the book. In an unprecedented gesture of kindness, the CEO of Wards returned all rights back to Bob May. The book became a best seller.

Many toy and marketing deals followed and Bob May, now remarried with a growing family, became wealthy from the story he created to comfort his grieving daughter.
Bob's brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a song adaptation to Rudolph.
Though the song was turned down by such popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore, it was recorded by the singing cowboy, Gene Autry.

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was released in 1949 and became a phenomenal success, selling more records than any other Christmas song, with the exception of "White Christmas."

 Bob May learned the lesson, just like his dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn't so bad.
In fact, being different can be a blessing.


YES, VIRGINIA WOLFE, THERE IS A SANTA CLAUS

 Francis P. Church’s editorial, “Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus” was an immediate sensation, and went on to became one of the most famous editorials ever written. It first appeared in the The New York Sun in 1897, almost a hundred years ago, and was reprinted annually until 1949 when the paper went out of business.

Dear Editor—
I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?
Virginia O’Hanlon

"Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood."

---

Time of Reflection

Seasonal reflection:
"Our gardens are tired, they've given their all,
The bounty is gathered, we're ready for Fall.
Herbs cut and dried, seeds stored away,
Swallows have flown, mice hide in the hay.
Take time to listen, the message is there,
Blessings abound, our work now to share.
Give what you can, but take a moment to rest
Take care of yourself and you'll give back your best."

































As the months just seem to blend one into another it is easy to let these beautiful days slip away as we focus more on the day to day schedule of demands than on taking advantage of the moment.

Once frost hits, these beautiful Fall days will become another memory in a year fast coming to a close.



Hopefully we all remembered to take notes of what worked and what didn't in our gardens. In only a few weeks we'll be getting 2011's seed catalogs in the mail. By then the gray doldrums of Winter will have us color starved gardeners aching to begin the planning stage of next year's garden layout.

So while there is still time, get outside and really take it all in before we wake one morning to a glistening landscape.

Origin of our logo picture and quote

"Beauty is only an herb away."

Every business card, product label and facebook profile picture all carry this picture as well as our six work slogan.

If pictures say a thousand words, than this picture puts all the pieces together.
Personality type that I am, it is very hard to slow down and not attempt to achieve everything on my life's list all at the same time.

Life is a series of chapters, beginnings and endings, the closing of one door leading to the realization that the opening of that next door is totally up to me. There comes a time in life's maturity when we are aware of how paralyzing our fears can be and stop letting ourselves get in our way.

The idea of creating and selling my products has been just a seed for years while busy with all the demands of that time period, simply getting everything done in a day that needed to be done. Time management revolved around spouse, home, kids, job, lawn, errands, and on and on.
And in the blink of an eye you look around and the house is quiet and you realize your time is your own, you can finish what you start and you discover who you are again.

That wonderful realization is a great thing about reaching a certain age. Who has time to worry about getting older when new opportunities are within reach. A renewed sense of accomplishment and purpose sparks heightened energy levels and the developing caterpillar morphs into a seemingly new creature.

With the ability to fly, the butterfly takes off and busily fulfills the next stage in its life cycle. A flying flower of beauty, so seemingly fragile yet it knows to just go with the flow when the winds blow or risk damage to itself.

Every summer I anxiously wait for the return of the butterflies; around here we see mostly various types of swallowtails. Their short lifespans are a reminder to all of us to "just do it".

The quote "Beauty is only an herb away" was the creative thinking of my son. He summed it all up in those six little words.
Everything and everyone is a unique creation, beautiful in its own right. This mother earth of ours provides everything we need to take care of this temple we were given at birth. Just watch the creatures in the wild; they seek what is naturally offered to sustain them, heal them and protect them. They just know. What happened to our instinctual awareness of what we need? Lets stand back and look at the bigger picture and rethink how culture has shaped our attitudes and beliefs.