|Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much|
"In the face of an obstacle which is impossible to overcome, stubbornness is stupid."
Simone de Beauvoir
Are we really in control in this life? Sometimes not.
The definition of addiction is anything that controls our lives, over which we are powerless, and which is making our lives unmanageable. Compulsive working, rushing and constant busyness can be areas of our lives where we are the most powerless. Our greatest victory can be knowing when to quit.
"Human beings are an untidy lot. They'd lose their arms and legs if they weren't joined on right."
We have to have an awareness of self. Addictive functioning ends up with our being so out of touch with what we are feeling that we are left without the energy to even notice the messages our bodies are trying to tell us. If we don't start paying attention, our bodies will get our attention however it must, and that can mean painful consequences.
"Somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff."
Self-sacrifice seems to be a thing with women. We love too much, we give too much. We are often so generous, have such trouble saying 'no', have too little value of our time, that it may seem we have given little pieces of ourselves away. The cumulative affect of years of giving away little bits of ourselves may result in feeling empty and angry. To share yourself, you have to have a self to share.
"How is my own life-work serving to end these tyrannies, the corrosions of sacred possibility."
Going through the motions of our everyday lives can become boring and tedious, and result in our questioning the purpose of it all. We have to know that even if what we are doing doesn't seem to have a great cosmic meaning, the way we go about it and the lives we touch give it all meaning. Regardless of what we do, we do have the opportunity to make it sacred work. Don't every undervalue the little things.
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
Why do some people have such trouble with happiness? Perhaps they are looking too hard to find it. Our happiness resides within ourselves. No one can give it to us. Success, money, recognition, respect, status, etc. can make us feel good, but it doesn't last. Happy people can of course have all those things, but happiness isn't a result of those things. We cannot think if we just make more money or meet the right person, we'll find happiness. Of course, those things will help us feel happier, but true happiness begins within us, with our attitude, not with happiness substitutes.
"And when is there time to remember, to sift, to weigh, to estimate, to total?"
Here is the self-sacrifice thing again. Women feel guilty taking time out for themselves because they feel if they do so, they are taking time away from the children, spouses, or that never ending 'to do' list. We all know the advice that if we don't take care of ourselves, we'll be of little use to those we love. We often don't heed that advice until our health suffers and we're forced to just stop already. Moments alone and our need for them is not a waste of time, they are a life-giving force. Take those stolen moments and treasure them.
"Problems are messages."
People often wonder, why does life have to be so hard! Problems give us the opportunity to learn something. If we don't get the message the first time around, no doubt we'll be given another chance. Schaef says: "The intensity of the whack alongside the head that life has to give us in order to get a lesson through to us is directly proportional to the height and breadth of our stubbornness and illusion of control." Once we get through those hard times, we look back and see just how much we've grown.
To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28