Tea Garden...It's What the Doctor Ordered

Themed herb gardens can be a lot of fun and many of these plants are not only suitable for a tea garden, but are also right at home in a kitchen theme, cosmetic theme or medicinal theme.

Most of us have only ever had tea from dried plants. Think how good it could be if picked fresh from your own backyard! Below are some ideal plants to get to know as they grow and it'll soon become apparent why people develop such a connection with their gardens. There is a certain pride in the nurturing, harvesting, storing and utilizing your own food, and knowing the conditions and quality of the plants makes it all the more satisfying.

Chamomile

For many, the introduction into the world of herbs all started with the famous children's book, The Tale of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter. Most mother's can relate with how to handle mischievous children who don't listen and then come whimpering to Mom when hurting or upset. Mama rabbit simply put her little bunny to bed with a cup of chamomile tea and let him reflect on his lesson learned after such an adventurous day.

Be it frazzled nerves or an upset tummy, chamomile tea was the best remedy to calm both conditions at the same time. Better yet, chamomile tea lulled little Peter Rabbit into the la la land of sleep.
Much of chamomile's medicinal effects are targeted toward the digestive tract and the nervous system.

Chamomile tea can be a godsend for parents pacing the floor with a colicky baby. The build-up of intestinal gas is very painful. Just a teaspoon of cooled chamomile tea given every ten minutes can relieve a baby's misery amazingly fast. Catnip and lemon balm are two other wonderful herbs safe for babies.

Combine a hot water bottle placed over the lower abdomen and sipping chamomile tea every 15 minutes for a sure relief from those dreaded PMS menstrual cramps. 

Be it a child or an adult, everyone has occasional trouble falling asleep. A cup of chamomile tea with a spoonful of honey can become a nightly ritual to look forward to in readiness for bed. The nerve relaxing properties of this herb are wonderful for settling down overtired children and the cluttered minds of over stressed adults.

Growing your own chamomile is fairly easy. Chamomile is an annual which once it is planted and gets established, it will pop up on its own every year. The flowers are the parts collected and if you harvest on a regular basis during the growing season the flowers will continue before finally going to seed.

Apple or Woolly Mint

Spearmint and Peppermint

Peppermint and Spearmint are just two of many types of mint in the Lamiacae (Labiatae) family.

Known as the herb of hospitality, mint has long been used everywhere from the kitchen to the sickroom. Peppermint and spearmint are the most common types of mint, but there are several varieties that can be found at your local nursery in the herb section. You can find apple mint, chocolate mint, mimosa mint, mountain mint, pennyroyal, orange mint, catnip, etc A good way to identify whether a plant is in the mint family is to feel the stem. If it is squared rather than round it is in the mint family. Mints are low to no maintenance perennial plants. They are so hardy, they'll be happy to take over your entire garden. The roots spread by way of runners, so if you don't want it to continue to creep along, it is best to plant it in buried containers. These plants like the sun but do tolerate some shade. Another perk with mints is that the bees adore the flowering tops.

Peppermint in particular has a powerful, menthol aroma that refreshes, energizes and improves mental clarity just by inhaling the steam from a cup of hot tea. So many ailments can be eased with this one type of plant. Nausea can be relieved, cramping belly aches can be settles, pounding headaches can fade away, congestion can open up, aching feet can perk up, heat flashes can be cooled, and sore muscles can relax.


Lemon Balm is wonderful for relaxing children or anyone under stress. Called the "happy tea", lemon balm is invaluable for not only snapping a child out of a cranky mood, but can help anyone feeling down in the dumps. With it's hint of lemon, add some honey and you have a delicious tea most people really enjoy. With anti-viral properties, lemon balm is great for colds and fever blisters (cold sores). Also called Sweet Melissa, if you let it flower as in the photo below, you'll be making a lot of bees very happy. This type of mint spreads as any other mint but it is easier to control since it grows in clumps. One thing with lemon balm is that if you do dry it, don't crumble the leaves until ready to use or you'll lose a lot of the lemony scent.

Lemon Balm

Catnip

Catnip is great for colicky babies, upset tummies, jangled nerves and to bring down a fever. And of course you can grow it as a great treat and source of greens for your cat. Catnip spreads on its own but like lemon balm, it grows in clumps so is easier to control than some mints that creep over the ground. Without cutting back, catnip actually becomes almost shrub-like with woody stems.

Monarda

Bee Balm or Monarda is often grown in butterfly, bee and hummingbird gardens. It's red or pink tubular flower petals are beautiful when in bloom. Monarda gets taller than the usual 2 ft. mints. This plant reaches 3 - 4 ft. so makes a great backdrop plant. Also known as Oswego, this plant was used extensively by Native Americans as a medicinal tea. During the American Revolution, Bee Balm was the replacement for black tea after the Boston Tea Party. And you can guess why the word "bee" is in the name. Great beneficial plant.

Anise Hyssop

The last mint we'll mention is Anise Hyssop (Agastache foeniculum) which smells and tastes like anise. Although it is called a hyssop, it isn't the same plant as the Hyssopus officinalis, which is in the mint family, but of European descent. Anise hyssop is a must for anyone who wants a scent garden. Even if you don't like it as a tea, to resist the urge to take a moment to pick a leaf for a sniff is nearly impossible. 

Pineapple Sage

Any of the sages can be used as a tea but Pineapple Sage tastes much better than regular garden sage. This tea is a good remedy for indigestion and heartburn. Sage makes a good gargle for a sore throat, especially if first infused in vinegar. Garden Sage is a perennial but Pineapple Sage is a tender perennial which in colder areas is grown as an annual. This plant grows much larger than garden sage. It actually becomes like a shrub and by September it flowers beautiful red tubular flowers adored by the hummingbirds, a great late season food source.

Stinging Nettles

Nettles, (Uritica dioica), are invaluable if you want one of the most nourishing plants around for your health. A word of caution though with stinging nettles, they sting due to the formic acid they contain. Nettles need to be grown somewhere where no one will be wandering around touching all the plants. It is a spreading perennial that will take over if allowed. But having access to the health benefits of nettle plants is wonderful for anyone needing a boost of energy or help with blah skin, hair or nails. Nettles make a great cooked green like spinach but best in the spring when the plants are young and tender. Be sure to wear long sleeves, long pants and gloves when in your nettle patch. Nettles are important as a food source for the larvae stages of many butterfly types, namely the peacocks, red admiral, commas, painted lady and tortoiseshell butterflies.

TIPS ON HOW TO HARVEST YOUR HERBS

Harvest late morning after they've dried off but before the heat of the day.

Most fresh herbs are highest in potency right before they bloom. But using the flowering tops is fine as well.

To dry, you can bundle small bunches by the stems and hang to dry in an airy, cool area out of direct sunlight. When dry, strip off the leaves and store in paper bags.
Don't crumble the leaves until you are ready to use them or you'll lose much of the essential oils.

Or you can spread your herbs out on the trays of a kitchen dehydrator for much quicker drying.

Before the arrival of frost, harvest all the herbs you desire and dry for storage. Herbs like basil are best if the leaves are frozen in ice cubes. Basil doesn't dry well without losing potency.

When ready to use the usual rule is 1 teaspoon dry herb to 1 cup of hot water.
If using fresh, use 3 teaspoons herb to 1 cup hot water.

You don't want to boil tender teas. You pour the hot water over them and let simmer. On average, teas only need about 3 - 5 minutes to simmer. then sweeten with honey and add a wedge of lemon if desired.

A very simple, yet delicious way to enjoy mint is to simply add a few fresh stems to a pitcher of water. The water will have a subtle, refreshing minty taste. Start with fresh plant material with each refill of the pitcher. If the water hasn't been drunk within about 3 days, toss and start again because it'll start to taste funky.

 A memory I have as a child is being sent down to the water's edge of a pond to collect enough fresh mint to fill a large soup pot. If you do collect plants outside of your own yard, be sure the plants you are cutting were not sprayed with pesticides or herbicides. Mint shouldn't need either one but just know for sure before using the plants. Rinse off the stems of any dirt, cut to fit in the pot (stems, leaves and any flowering tops), add enough water to cover the plants, cover the pot and gently bring to the boiling point but don't boil, Cock the lid so it doesn't overflow and let the tea simmer about 5 to 10 minutes, depending how strong you like your tea. You don't want to simmer it too long or you'll lose the important essential oils in the steam. Strain out the plant material and add sugar to taste. For sweet tea, 1 cup sugar to a gallon of tea is tasty. Enjoy a cup of hot tea right away and let the rest cool and store in the refrigerator for ice tea. This is wonderfully refreshing on a hot day.

Find a spot to set up a little table and chairs and enjoy your serenity time with a cup of tea. You'll soon discover that once your tea garden is established it returns every spring with little effort on your part. Annuals such as chamomile, fennel and dill reseed themselves and perennials such as the mints, lavender, sage, nettles and thyme return from the established root ball. If you had rosemary overwintering in the house, it can be brought back outside in the spring.

A neat little book all about herbal teas...the plants, how to grow and ways to blend

May Not be Going Straight but Forward Enough

As I approached this morning like every other morning, I had to share a humorous observation and perhaps offer our married children a way to handle many an aggravation between the sexes.

Take this scenario:

Hubby goes down to our basement to use the treadmill:
1. Descends the stairs
2. Lowers the treadmill for use
3. Sets his music for use
4. Walks nowhere for 45 minutes
5. Returns upstairs

Once he is done down there I think to empty last night's load of laundry in the dryer:
1. Descend those same stairs.
Notice the foot dirt and pet hair collected in the corners and grab the dust pan to clean it up.
Notice cat vomit on one of the steps so I return upstairs for a paper towel to clean it up.
2. Immediately smell the dirty litter boxes so clean up the litter boxes.
3. Grab the dust pan again to sweep up the scattered litter around the litter boxes.
4. As I throw away the bag of litter waste, I remember it is trash day tomorrow so pull the trash bag.
5. Notice that the pets' water bowl is empty so fill it.
6. Pick up a forgotten jacket thrown over the cat tree which of course was now sprinkled with cat hair
7. Pick up the now empty cat dishes from their earlier breakfast.
8. Carry the trash bag, jacket and dirty cat dishes upstairs.
9. Gather the trash from all the trash cans in other rooms and take the it up to the road.
10. Lint roller the cat hair from the jacket and hang it where it belongs.
11. Wash the dirty pet dishes
12. Go back downstairs to get that laundry from the dryer.

And the point is?

Men have an agenda in mind. They go from point A to point B...straight line

Women also have an agenda in mind. They go from point A and get detoured. Point B is reached...eventually.



There is a line from a song that goes "Don't go straight, go forward". That is kind of what it is like for a woman. She goes forward through her day but may find it impossible to simply stay on a straight path. That is because she notices everything around her at the same time! Men usually just notice what they intended on doing at that moment. That is where so many times women misunderstand men. They interpret a man's way of doing things as lazy or inconsiderate. If a woman wants her man to do something she has to write it down and post it somewhere for him as a reminder. Stop beating your head against the wall from the frustration of why you come home and find the house in the same disarray as you left it. I don't mean to generalize, since of course this doesn't apply to all males, but oftentimes men just don't notice things the way a woman does. If you want him to clean up the place he needs a detailed list of what you want done. Don't expect the typical man to notice or even care if the laundry is still in the dryer, if the dishes are still in the sink, or even if the dog's been let out to pee.

Remember the Women's March and the sea of pink hats? During the time it takes for a woman to knit something, her mind has never stopped. Just like those knitting needles in constant motion and the yarn being turned and woven in and out, a woman's mind is a swirl. That swirl makes her a whiz at multitasking but it can also allow for that swirl to gather steam and eventually explode. Kind of what is happening behind that march.

Baths, a Time for nursing the Body and Soul

Ever wonder why a hot bath is such a comfort?
According to this article from Daily Mail Reporter when people feel loneliness they tend to feel cold and the feel of a hot bath can help with feelings of isolation. There is a link between physical warmth and social warmth and it all begins in childhood where so much comfort comes from hot things like soup, hot drinks and the love from those who offer them. Warm water can substitute for desired company and help lift that down in the dumps feeling that is so often helped by being around other people.

You certainly don't have to feel lonely to desire the escape from it all in a nice soak. Perhaps you have had plenty of socialization for a day and just want time to be left alone and nurse your frazzled nerves. Take time for yourself once in a while and close that bathroom door for at least 30 minutes.

Humans have a natural pull towards the sea and the theory is that since the water content of our bodies is so similar to seawater we feel a connection. There is a quote by JFK that says, "We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch, we are going back from whence we came."

Warm water is so very therapeutic for not only the soul, but for the body as well. Stiff muscles and achy joints benefit so greatly from the heat and relaxation offered from warm water.
Bath oils offer the silky skin loving benefits of carrier oils such as almond, jojoba, olive, apricot and wheat germ. Essential oils are added which further add quality to a good bath oil. Certain plant essences contain anti-inflammatory properties or help eliminate toxins and fluid retention or do wonders for the weary spirit.
The salts used for bath salts contain necessary minerals such as magnesium which are so often lacking in our modern diets. By absorbing these minerals through our skin, we benefit by way of stress relief and even lowering blood pressure.
Bath salts aid with periodic detoxification and help to eliminate toxins.

Feel better, Sleep better and you'll Do better

Below are some of the bath products found within the Meadow Muffin Gardens shop.
 Here are just a few of the available bath oils, salts and scrubs:

Sensual Earth Patchouli and Lavender Bath Oil

Down in the Dumps Bath Oil

Lavender andYlangYlang Bath Salts

Grounding Earth Bath Salts

Salt Polish Body Scrub

Vanilla Sugar Scrub

The Nicotine Habit, Why Smoking is so Tough to Give up

 As with many medical issues, people often don't change their lifestyles until faced with their own mortality by losing their health. So what is in tobacco anyway? 



Tobacco plants evolved the ability to make a nerve gas against insects. That ability is called nicotine, an alkaloid pesticide that plants evolved to defend themselves against insect pests. 




Cigarettes are the source of many irritants and poisons such as: reactive metal fragments, ammonia fumes, the paint stripper chemical acetone, hydrogen sulfide, methane, hydrogen cyanide, nitric oxide and formaldehyde. That certainly is not an inclusive list. According to David Bodanis in his book, "The Secret House", the reason cigarettes are the source of all these is because once lit the cigarette makes them itself.  During inhalation the glowing tip of the cigarette can reach 1,700 degrees F. That heat rips the tobacco and paper compounds into their constituent parts and from those basic parts, builds them up again into the poisonous, complex chemicals we started with. This is possible because under the intense heat hydrogen and oxygen come together to form water, which then superheats into steam and condenses as it cools. The chemicals have time to form in between the puffs on the cigarette which starts that process again and again. All that is going on just inside the cigarette, the dim glow behind the red hot tip.




Now imagine what is really in that smoke stream anyone around you has no choice but to breathe. The newly created chemicals of poison clot together in extremely small balls. By the time the cigarette is burned half-way down those little hydrogen cyanide balls are falling, ready to stick to whatever or whomever they land. In addition to that, the exhalation from the smoker is spewing out ammonia, cyanide, formaldehyde and mucus constituents from the nasal lining. 

According to Dr. Mehmet Oz, "Nicotine is one of the most toxic addictions-especially because of its physiological effect on the rest of the body. But the addiction itself is manifested in not only an emotional need for the drug but also a physical need; your brain tells your body it needs nicotine to prevent the symptoms of withdrawal. One reason that nicotine is addictive is that it creates pleasure in the brain, causing a feeling of relaxation. Over time, nicotine keeps your brain from supplying these chemicals that create these good feelings, and you end up craving more nicotine and the feeling it produces."



Everyone is told not to smoke. So why do people continue with such a harmful habit?  In his book, "The Secret Family", David Bodanis claims that nicotine works on the limbic system cells in the brain. By giving a boost in self-confidence many people crave, they soon think they need the stress relief cigarettes appear to offer.  Another reason that people, especially girls, enjoy their smokes is because the nicotine slows the stomach's usual movements which diminishes an appetite. Supposedly ideal for anyone trying to stay slim or lose weight. Women don't seem to realize that their idealistic body image could become an oxygen starved, wrinkled figure with thinning bones prone to fracture. Little is more harmful for maintaining a youthful facial complexion than the damage from free radicals caused by cigarettes.

The tobacco industry understands human nature. Young people vulnerable to peer pressure and normal insecurities are at a higher risk for poor decision making. Once the addictive properties of nicotine take hold, often people smoke for years until they can finally break the habit. Truth be told, many smokers claim to actually enjoy their cigarettes. Reaching for a cigarette while under emotional stress can be like having a good friend. Only true friends don't haunt you down the road.



A little encourage from popular herbalist Susun Weed:
"Tobacco is highly addictive and you can beat it. Get an extra edge on quitting by nourishing yourself with a handful of freshly toasted sunflower seeds and a cup of nettle or oatstraw infusion daily for 4-6 weeks before you stop smoking. Sunflower seeds reduce cravings for nicotine by filling nicotine receptor sites. Nettles and oatstraw strengthen nerves and cushion the impact of withdrawal."

Susun recommends the following book to help quit the habit:

The No-Nag, No-Guilt, Do-It-Your-Own-Way Guide to Quitting Smoking by Tom Ferguson, MD, Ballantine, 1987.

Chamomile, It all Started with Peter Rabbit

My introduction into the world of herbs all started with the famous children's book, The Tale of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter. Most mother's can relate with how to handle mischievous children who don't listen and then come whimpering to Mom when hurting or upset. Mama rabbit simply put her little bunny to bed with a cup of chamomile tea and let him reflect on his lesson learned after such an adventurous day.

Be it frazzled nerves or an upset tummy, chamomile tea was the best remedy to calm both conditions at the same time. Better yet, chamomile tea lulled little Peter Rabbit into the la la land of sleep.

Much of chamomile's medicinal effects are targeted toward the digestive tract and nervous system. It's rich history around the world has it regarded as a drug in many areas, with the respect going far beyond being just another plant brushed aside with the emergence of western medicine.

As said by herbalist Kathi Keville, "It looks like a tiny daisy, smells like apples and has a sweet, almost fruity taste. But chamomile is no dainty herb. It's a virtual powerhouse of healing."

The word itself comes from two Greek words, khamai, which means "on the ground", and melon, which means "apple".

 The two two main types of chamomile we see are German (Matricaria recutita) and Roman (Chamaemelum nobile). 

The active constituents of chamomile include anti-inflammatory, anti-spasmodic and anti-anxiety properties within the essential oils of the plant. By soothing the gastrointestinal tract, chamomile relieves painful spasms and the pressure from gas build-up. Skin conditions are calmed down with the topical application of chamomile salves and even just by laying wet, used tea bags on the irritated area. Compounds called flavonoids present in chamomile promote both an anti-inflammatory and an anti-anxiety effect when they bind with certain receptor sites in the brain.

Chamomile tea can be a godsend for parents pacing the floor with a colicky baby. The build-up of intestinal gas is very painful. Just a teaspoon of cooled chamomile tea given every ten minutes can relieve a baby's misery amazingly fast. Catnip is another wonderful herb safe for babies.

Combine a hot water bottle placed over the lower abdomen and sipping chamomile tea every 15 minutes for a sure relief from those dreaded 

 PMS menstrual cramps. Add cramp bark, grated ginger, scullcap, and wild yam to the tea for an even better blend.

Be it a child or an adult, everyone has occasional trouble falling asleep. A cup of chamomile tea with a spoonful of honey can become a nightly ritual to look forward to in readiness for bed. The nerve relaxing properties of this herb are wonderful for settling down overtired children and the cluttered minds of over stressed adults.

Long-term stress can be one factor in the development of ulcers. Chamomile contains azulene, which is believed to promote healing in the mucus layer of the stomach. Azulene in chamomile essential oil is what turns the oil a bright blue.

For muscle pain in general, a great combination of essential oils is:

chamomile, clary sage and marjoram. Use just three drops of each of these essential oils added to one ounce of a carrier oil such as olive oil. Use a bit of this mixture to massage the areas of muscle pain.

Skin rashes of all types can be eased with the topical use of chamomile. Added to baths, creams or salves, the anti-inflammatory effects can calm down such skin flares. Besides the anti-inflammatory benefits, chamomile is also antibacterial and antifungal. Among the microbes that chamomile inhibits are the ones responsible for staph and Candida infections. This is very good to know for people dealing with itchy conditions such as eczema where scratching can lead to secondary bacterial infections.

It may not be completely understood as to why, but chamomile tea can lessen the symptoms during allergy season. It is thought that chamomile stimulates the release of the body's natural cortisone. Cortisone inhibits the release of histamine, which is the chemical responsible for the runny nose, itchy eyes and hives. For better results, mix chamomile with yarrow for hay fever and mullein for asthma. There is debate as to whether a ragweed allergy automatically means a person is allergic to chamomile.

A great eyewash for sore eyes is made by seeping two teaspoons of chamomile in one-half cup of boiling water. Let this strong infusion cool and then strain through a coffee filter. Use an eye cup or an eye dropper to flush the eyes. A nice warm compress laid over the eyes would feel wonderful as well. You can even use the spent tea bags from the cup of tea you just drank and lay over your eyes.

In beauty care, chamomile is wonderful as part of facial toners and hair rinses. Chamomile's anti-inflammatory action helps calm down inflamed skin therefore very useful for breakouts.

Long used by people with blonde hair as a hair rinse to bring out those natural highlights.

If you want to grow your own chamomile it is fairly easy. Chamomile is an annual which once it is planted and gets established, it will pop up on its own every year. The flowers are the parts collected and if you harvest on a regular basis during the growing season the flowers will continue before finally going to seed. 

Below are several products utilizing this amazing herb:

Click on the link below the pictures to take you into the shop

Coconut Herbal Balm, Wounds, Dry Skin

Rich Foot Balm for Blisters, Calluses, Skin Cracks

Shea Butter Herbal Balm for Dry Skin, Healing

Herbal Salve for Eczema, Skin conditions

Hurting Tummy Oil

Children's Settle Down Massage Oil

Tension Headache Massage Oil

Mensus Misery Massage Oil

Sleep and Dream Mist Linen Spray

Chamomile, Nettles, Calendula Facial Toner

Raw Honey Facial Mask

Vinegar Rinse for Light Hair

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENTS, WEEK 19, May 7 - May 13

Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much

May 7
"What you know in your head will not sustain you in moments of crisis...confidence comes from body awareness, knowing what you feel in the moment."
Marion Woodman

Our feelings are what makes us human, yet we live in a society that tends to see feelings as fickle, irrational and unnecessary for the road to personal success. Maybe for a robotic society that may be correct but certainly not for the success of what makes for the intricate beings we really are. Feelings are a gift that brings us in touch with the world we live in, that connects us with each other, gives us the signals we need to read behavior and cope with life in general.

May 8
"She would greet us pleasantly, and immediately she seemed to surround the chaotic atmosphere of morning strife with something of order, of efficient and quiet uniformity, so that one had the feeling that life was small and curiously ordered."
Meridel LeSueur

We can all relate to situations such as this. The domino effect is happening and things may appear to be getting out of hand. One person's high-strung energy may be trying to emit control and order but in doing so, that charged, nervous energy is filtering around the room creating tension. Another person in the same situation may give off a quiet, confident presence that others tend to gravitate towards; calm, cool and collected. Order that comes from such a person is so much more peaceful, the definition of serenity.

May 9
"You can get lonesome-being that busy."
Isabel Lennart

People who are overly busy all the time may read this and dismiss it. The truth may be that it is possible to not realize we are lonely because we don't stop long enough to be in touch with what we are feeling. Our work can be like a jealous lover, demanding more and more. It is good to be productive, but not at the expense of intimacy and time needed to nurture our relationships with those we love.

May 10
"So instant intimacy was too often followed by disillusion."
May Sarton

While it is possible to feel an instant connection with someone, it is a mistake to think if we find the right person we'll know immediately that this is the one. True intimacy is a process that takes time and if you don't have time for what that involves, then the relationship probably won't develop beyond a quick flame that fizzles rather quickly. It is said that instant intimacy is one of the characteristics of addictive relationships.

May 11
"Each woman is being made to feel it is her own cross to bear if she can't be the perfect clone of the male superman and the perfect clone of the feminine mystique."
Betty Friedan

Sometimes there is just too much to do, too many roles to play, and too much pressure to be and do it all. The way to handle life when the vise starts to tighten is to realize that we have the power to control its turning. Rather than blocking out the anguish all the stress is causing and thinking we are weak if we admit it, we would be much better off if we would just acknowledge what is happening and step out away from it.

May 12
"I wish I'd a knowed more people. I would of loved 'em all. If I'd a knowed more, I would loved more."
Toni Morrison

There is no limit to the amount of love we can share. Love is an energy that is shared because we have it, simple as that. It should not be dolled out as a means to get something in return. It should not be parceled out in piecemeal due to the fear that to give freely will only get us hurt. Love is something that flows out of out deep sense of loving ourselves. It is not possible to love another if we don't know and love ourselves. Once we love who we are, we'll be much more open to getting to know other people. We'll soon learn there is plenty of that love to go around and the reserves won't be drained dry.

May 13
"The thing about having a baby is that thereafter you have it."
Jean Kerr

While it is true that babies are born a clean slate, it is a disillusion to think we can shape them how we see fit and they'll stay that way. Parenting is an intimate, interactive process that continues for the rest of our lives. Only when we stop with the fantasy child image can we begin to see who these little people really are. And when we do that it is a great step in giving our children the autonomy they need to develop into independent adults.



To read the previous posts:

To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28

Week 5 January 29 - February 4
Week 6 February 5 - February 11
Week 7 February 12 - February 18
Week 8 February 19 - February 25

Week 9 February 26 - March 4
Week 10 March 5 - March 11
Week 11 March 12 - March 18 
Week 12 March 19 - March 25
Week 13 March 26 - April 1 

Week 14 April 2 - April 8 
Week 15 April 9 - April 15 
Week 16 April 16 - April 22
Week 17 April 23 - 29 

Week 18 April 30 - May 6

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENTS, WEEK 18, April 30 - May 6

Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much

April 30
"One of the reasons our society has become such a mess is that we're isolated from each other."
Maggie Kuhn

A characteristic of any addiction is that the person tends to cut herself off from people. Women who do too much are no different. Priorities tend to get out of balance and getting the work done takes precedence over social events. By not having the time to reach out to people, we tend to forget how. After declining enough invitations, people often stop asking.We tend to feel if we're just left alone we'll have more time, feel less stress and more accomplished. But in the end, all we feel is exhausted. Workaholics needs to learn the difference between isolation and solitude.

May 1
"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return."
Mary Jean Iron

All we really have is the moment we are in right now. Too often we squander the treasure of what today has to offer and regret it later because we can never get those lost moments back. We have to remember that the past is done and the future my never be. Today may be just a normal day, but it is a gift.

May 2
"Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels."
Faith Whittlesey

Being good at what we do is not a curse, nor something to feel vain if acknowledged. Humility can be the denial of an expertise, which is a loss to not only ourselves but to others who could benefit from our gifts. Our strange culture seems to want us competitive and passive at the same time. It takes courage to acknowledge how good we are at what we do and be proud of it.

May 3
"That was a time when only the dead could smile."
Anna Akhmatova

As with any addiction, hitting bottom is often what it takes to force one to make some changes. Once the depths of despair have been reached and the journey back out has been successful, the feeling of relief, and the joy for the chance of a new life, can be some of the most accomplished feelings of a lifetime.

May 4
"Yesterday is a cancelled check. tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is cash in hand; spend it wisely."
Anonymous

Too bad there isn't a name to give credit to this wise analogy. Nothing kills the present moment quicker than worrying about what hasn't happened yet or stewing over things that have happened that we cannot change. We need to do our lives, not just think about it.

May 5
"The social workers have named a new syndrome. It's called "compassion fatigue." Why does it sound so familiar?"
Anne Wilson Schaef

As a society, we are trained that if we take care of people, they in turn will take care of us. Relationships are built on taking care of each other, and if we took care first, we would certainly get the same in return. How naive we feel when we get the rude awakening that this isn't always how it turns out. Not everyone shares that feeling of obligation. Human nature has it that too often the more we take care of people, the more they seem to want. It doesn't take long before caregivers are drained emotionally and physically, and the feelings of being overwhelmed result in resentment. Recognizing that those feelings are very normal helps with the guilt over feeling that way about someone you love.

May 6
"Make a prayer acknowledging yourself as a vehicle of light, giving thanks for the good that has come that day and an affirmation of intent to live in harmony with all your relations."
Dhyani Ywahoo

Part of any healing and recovery is that we begin to see the good that we do each day and the good that comes to us each day. We tend to really understand gratitude. We begin to live in harmony with those around us and treasure those relationships. 



To read the previous posts:

To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28

Week 5 January 29 - February 4
Week 6 February 5 - February 11
Week 7 February 12 - February 18
Week 8 February 19 - February 25

Week 9 February 26 - March 4
Week 10 March 5 - March 11
Week 11 March 12 - March 18 
Week 12 March 19 - March 25

Week 13 March 26 - April 1 
Week 14 April 2 - April 8 
Week 15 April 9 - April 15 
Week 16 April 16 - April 22

Week 17 April 23 - April 29

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENTS, WEEK 16, April 16 - April 22

Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much

April 16
"Dependency invites encroachment."
Patricia Meyer Spacks

This day's meditation starts with a statement that makes one stop and think..really?
"We women who do too much are terrified of being dependent." She says our fear of dependency often results in behavior that looks like independence. We have trouble asking for help because we don't trust anyone. If that is true than I know several women who appear so very strong in handling things, it is a shocker to think they could have issues of their own. Supposedly, we need to define ourselves in terms other than dependency, to not let others form our identities for us, and then we'll be free to bring our true selves to our relationships with people.

April 17
"The new space...has a kind of invisibility to those who have not entered it."
Mary Daly

In our desire to keep everything under control, we find it very difficult to leap into the unknown. To change our ways requires faith in a journey in which we cannot be sure of the way. That can be terrifying to someone who knows there has to be a better way but lets fear hold them back. All it takes is that first step.

April 18
"And to all those voices of wisdom that have whispered to me along the way."
Dhyani Ywahoo

There have been voices of wisdom all around us all our lives. Some of that wisdom has been learned from others and some has been self-taught, but all of it usually came at the time we needed it most. There are so many people who love to share their experiences and knowledge. Appreciation and gratitude are wonderful.

April 19
"Sometimes I wish I had suction cups to hold me down."
Pam

Why is it so hard for some of us to just stay in a seat! The wheels are always turning and sometimes we may feel powerless to control that urge to do something and do it right now. We can be powerful women at the same time as we can be powerless over our crazy lives. What a relief to know that if we just turn everything over to a power greater than ourselves, the pressure is greatly reduced to a level of sanity.

April 20
"You need to claim the events of your life to make yourself yours. When you truly possess all you have been and done, which may take some time, you are fierce with reality."
Flonda Scott Maxwell

We all need a reality check once in a while. We need to stop and take a thorough inventory of who we are and what we have done, both the good and the bad. This is much more than just focusing on things we could have done differently. This is about realizing the many positive qualities that make us who we are. Acknowledge the whole package deal and like it. Only then can we be on the path to becoming who we are.

April 21
"Until the missing story of ourselves is told, nothing besides told can suffice us: we shall go on quietly craving it."
Laura Riding

We cannot possibly offer what we have until we know just who we are. The most important journey we will ever take is the journey inward. Each of us is a unique combination of heredity and experiences, and no one else can offer what our individuality can offer. We just have to slow down and take the time to find out what there is about us that is so special. It would be a real shame to waste that potential offering in this life.

April 22
"When self-respect takes its rightful place in the psyche of woman, she will not allow herself to be manipulated by anyone."
Indira Mahindra

There are many aspects of ourselves that merit self-respect. Our competency, our flexibility, our ability to multitask, to articulate our ideas, our organizational skills, the list goes on. People around us need to accept our contributions as strengths and give us the respect we deserve. And we need to demand that self-respect from ourselves by not being manipulated.


To read the previous posts:

To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28

Week 5 January 29 - February 4
Week 6 February 5 - February 11
Week 7 February 12 - February 18
Week 8 February 19 - February 25

Week 9 February 26 - March 4
Week 10 March 5 - March 11
Week 11 March 12 - March 18 
Week 12 March 19 - March 25

Week 13 March 26 - April 1 
Week 14 April 2 - April 8 
Week 15 April 9 - April 15

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENTS, WEEK TWELVE, March 19 - March 25

Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much

March 19

"We workaholics make so many promises that no human being could possibly keep them. That is one of the ways we keep ourselves feeling bad about ourselves."
Lynn

We want to be liked and we want to please. In a world where it is easy to feel invisible in the crowd, it is flattering when we are asked to be part of something. It doesn't create a problem unless we already have too much on our plates and commit before thinking through one more obligation. Over-committing ourselves can result in being overwhelmed, resenting the situation and the people in it and then feeling bad about ourselves for those very feelings. It is best to see if you can and really want to fulfill a promise before saying yes. Most likely the person requesting your help wouldn't ask if he/she knew it was a strain on you.

March 20

"For years I have endeavored to calm an impetuous tide-laboring to make my feelings take an orderly course-it was striving against the stream."
Mary Wolstonecraft

As children we are often taught to be careful with our feelings. Feelings can be irrational, unpredictable, illogical and inappropriate for a situation. We later find that it is not possible to simply suppress some feelings without sacrificing others. When we push down our anger, our joy can go with it. Suppressing feelings leaves them to fester and emerge in other ways, sometimes with destructive results. We do  have to control our emotions but we shouldn't just deny to ourselves how we really feel.

March 21

"If you haven't forgiven yourself something, how can you forgive others?"
Dolores Huerta

Part of being human is to make mistakes. Forgiving ourselves doesn't mean we are okay with things we may have done and were later sorry. It just means we are going to get past it and learn from it. People who just cannot accept the fact that they could be in the wrong tend to get caught up in ego and can be very judgmental of others. Having trouble getting past it when they feel wronged by someone could be because they have never reached a stage of forgiveness with themselves.

March 22

"Our most important decisions are discovered, not made. We can make the unimportant ones but the major ones require us to wait with the discovery."
Anne Wilson Schaef

It is said that the quality of decisions is directly proportionate to one's patience with his or her not knowing.
Too many times we feel pressured to make up our minds about something before being given ample time to really think about it. We're often made to feel weak if we have trouble making on the spot, snap decisions. Sometimes the reason for that hesitation is just that we don't know the answer yet and just need some more time to ponder. It has nothing to do with being indecisive.

March 23

"To be somebody you must last."
Ruth Gordon

Sticking with a situation ''if it's the last thing I do" may sound noble but sometimes it can become obsessive and result in cloudy judgement. We can get so fixated on hanging in there that we may not recognize that sometimes the best thing is to just step out of the situation. Walking away from a project can help one refocus or it may allow someone else to step in. While it is important to persevere, we have to be able to discern when it is best to continue, when it is best to take a break and when to let it go completely.

March 24

"You love like a coward. Don't take no steps at all. Just stand around and hope for things to happen outright. Unthankful and unknowing like a hog under an acorn tree. Eating and grunting with your ears hanging over your eyes, and never even looking up to see where the acorns are coming from."
Zora Neale Hurston

In this world there are "leavers" and there are "takers". Zora makes a humorous comparison with hogs but does make a point. We can root around and munch on the goodies around us without ever acknowledging from where they come. With so much abundance it is easy to take it all for granted and not even think about the natural resources or the assembly line of work that made it so available at our fingertips. It is good for the soul to look up, be grateful for the many gifts among us, and give thanks.

March 25

"My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it."
Dottie Archibald

Housework is a good analogy to the busyness of a workaholic. How much of the constant repetitive housework we do is because of our need to keep busy and not because it actually needs to be done? Often, our busyness is a subtle form of procrastination that keeps us away from what we really need to be doing.
I suppose that is true, but in our household, when housework gets done it is because it needs to be done. I don't think I've ever had the time to clean just for something to do. But I have to admit to doing chores to avoid doing something I've been pushing off.



 To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28

Week 5 January 29 - February 4
Week 6 February 5 - February 11
Week 7 February 12 - February 18
Week 8 February 19 - February 25

Week 9 February 26 - March 4
Week 10 March 5 - March 11
Week 11 March 12 - March 18