|Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much|
"Shit work is infinitely safe. In exchange for doing it you can extract an unconscionable return...the women's pound of flesh."
Let's face it, a lot of the work women do is shit work. We do it because it has to get done, as mundane as it can get. Of course there are other things we would rather be doing and we do get tired of cleaning up after others. I think the point Colette is making here is that we cannot get ourselves in the habit of making others feel guilty with our sulky attitude. We may not be able to change a situation at the moment but we can change our attitude towards the situation. If we can make a change, then start the ball rolling to make necessary changes. Seek other employment, be more assertive with your wants, if able, pay for outside help in the home, learn to direct others to help out, and there is always the option to just say no.
"Out of the strain of the Doing, Into the peace of the Done."
Julia Louise Woodruff
There is always work to be done and ideally, when a task or project is complete we can stand back and be proud of ourselves for a job well done. If we believe in the "work before play" philosophy then once the work is done there is no problem with then going off and having a good time. The problem with workaholics is that they never feel okay with "being done". There is a sense of guilt with doing nothing, as if they are wasting time, as if they'll be judged as being lazy. Should someone walk in and "catch them" there is the impulse to jump up. Being projectless and being worthless are not synonymous. Where does this guilt all start anyway?
"The experience of God, or in any case the possibility of experiencing God, is innate."
We as humans have a natural yearning to believe in something greater than ourselves. There is no need to seek out professional advice on how to "find" God. We don't have to look for the possibility of experiencing a greater power, it is already within us. The key is to stop thinking there is an instruction book. There is no need to get so into rituals that we neglect the necessity to seek within ourselves in order to feel something.
"The season is changeable, fitful, and maddening as I am myself these days that are cloaked with too many demands and engagements."
When we do not recognize the signs telling us that we have become overloaded, we end up in situations that involve drama, emotion, misunderstandings and unintended outbursts. The classic red flag that we need time for ourselves is if we constantly say to ourselves, "I wish I could just be left alone." Keep it up and you will be left alone because bridges will be burned and people will avoid you. We have to become better at taking care of ourselves, taking necessary time outs and avoid such a crisis.
"I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude."
Judith M. Knowlton
Once our judgement gets to the point that we feel in a corner and trapped, we forget about the power of compromise. To feel there are no options other than to stay in a situation or else leave, is often just not true. Often it is not the situation that is keeping us stuck but our attitude about our situation. To lighten or shift perspective isn't denying the right you have to feel as you do, but if the burden is harming your mental and physical health, perhaps it is time to let it go.
"Oh, it was a glorious morning! I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. It certainly helps one to believe in Him."
When we go through our days and barely notice the change of seasons, it is time to stop and look up. Too often when we listen to the weather report it is for no other reason than to know ahead of time if we will be held up with snow, ice, rain or fog. Those who live in the city are especially prone to missing out on the many gifts of the great outdoors. Taking the time to appreciate a beautiful day is wonderful for reducing stress and perhaps the needed nudge to start living in the moment.
"All women hustle. Women watch faces, voices, gestures, moods. The person who has to survive through cunning."
The ability to notice detail is a wonderful skill. But many of us preen this skill only to evaluate and prepare for every situation we are in. Our fear that whatever we do will not be enough or that we are not enough to really matter anyway, results in living as though our very survival depended on knowing just how to act. There comes a time when we should just say, "enough already, this is who I am, accept it."
To read the previous posts:
To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28
Week 5 January 29 - February 4
Week 6 February 5 - February 11
Week 7 February 12 - February 18
Week 8 February 19 - February 25
Week 9 February 26 - March 4
Week 10 March 5 - March 11
Week 11 March 12 - March 18
Week 12 March 19 - March 25
Week 13 March 26 - April 1
Week 14 April 2 - April 8
Week 15 April 9 - April 15
Week 16 April 16 - April 22