CRANBERRY PUMPKIN COOKIES, ENERGY BOOST BITES

This little cookie nugget is the perfect grab and go morning meal for those who say they just don't have time for breakfast. Loaded with hearty ingredients that will hold you over without the empty calories of typical baked goods.

The prep time on the recipe said 10 minutes, but it took me 15 minutes just to gather together all the ingredients! With 14 ingredients your counter will be crowded but what a win win for a cookie. There is oat flour rather than wheat. There is only a fraction of the usual sugar called for and the type used is brown sugar rather than white. There is no added fat such as unhealthy shortening. The fat comes from peanut butter and needed moisture comes from pumpkin. Rolled oats help hold it all together and additional taste and sweetness come from dried cranberries and coconut.

Basically, this sounds like a granola shaped into a more portable form. Not sweet at all, it is still tasty and delicious, great with milk or coffee. Perfect for morning but also wonderful for the lunchbox or after school snack

These cookies are chewy rather than crispy. They freeze well and are good warmed up, still half frozen or room temperature from the cookie jar.

CRANBERRY PUMPKIN BREAKFAST COOKIES

By Sarah@The Gold Lining Girl

1 1/2 cup old-fashioned oats

1 cup oat flour

1/4 cup packed brown sugar

1/2 tsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. cinnamon

pinch of salt

In a large bowl, whisk together the above dry ingredients

1 1/4 cup canned pumpkin puree

1 egg

1/4 cup melted peanut butter (smooth or chunky)

2 tsp. vanilla extract

In another bowl, whisk together the above wet ingredients

Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and stir until just moistened

1/2 cup chopped pecans or walnuts

1/2 cup shredded coconut

1/2 cup sweetened dried cranberries

Fold in the nuts, coconut and cranberries

Drop by spoonfuls onto either parchment lined or greased baking sheets

Bake at 350 degrees

10 minutes for small cookies or 12 - 14 minutes for large cookies

Cookies are ready when lightly browned

Remove to wire racks to cool

Store in a cool, airtight container

The Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookie

If you like your chocolate chip cookies soft yet chewy than this recipe just may replace your old favorite. The recipe came from The Ladies Corner and they even let us in on the secret behind these cookies. It's something as simple as the amount of salt that is added, leaving out an egg white and a lower oven temperature.

CHEWY CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

Sift together the flour, baking soda and salt and set this bowl aside.

3/4 cup or 1 1/2 sticks butter, softened or almost melted

1 cup packed brown sugar

1/2 cup white sugar

In a larger bowl, blend the butter and sugars till nice and creamy.

1 tbsp vanilla extract

1 egg

1 egg yolk

Beat the vanilla and the eggs into the butter/sugar mixture.

Blend till creamy.

Add the sifted, dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and mix just until blended.

2 cups chocolate chips

If you used a hand blender for the previous steps, for this part use a wooden spoon.

Gently stir in the chocolate chips

Either lightly grease your cookie sheets or line them with parchment paper.

For MONSTER COOKIES

Drop cookie dough 1/4 cup at a time onto the cookie sheets 3 inches apart

Makes 6 cookies

Bake 15 - 17 minutes

For LARGE COOKIES

Drop large spoonfuls of cookie dough onto the cookie sheets 2 inches apart 9 cookies per sheet

Makes about 2 dozen cookies

Bake 13 - 14 minutes

For REGULAR SIZE COOKIES

Drop spoonfuls of cookie dough onto the cookie sheets 2 inches apart 12 cookies per sheet

Makes about 4 dozen cookies

Bake 11 - 12 minutes 

Remove cookies from oven and allow to cool a few minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool.

ENJOY!

Almond Sugar Cookies..Addition to the Sweet Treat Tradition of the Holiday Season

The trick to holiday baking is to get it done early enough to ease the stressful time crunch of the "to do" list before Christmas Eve. But the downside around this house is that between event contributions and all those people who deserve a little something, by the time the big day rolls around there is often little left. 

But the tradition is rewarding even if we do swear we'll cut back on the "unnecessary" work every year. New, untried and enticing recipes flood our Facebook pages and magazines, adding to the craziness of what makes for holiday cheer.

This new recipe is a keeper. It was cut out years ago from a Taste Of Home magazine and was tucked away in a cookie cookbook.

What sets it apart from the usual sugar cookie is the almond extract rather than the usual vanilla.

The buttery taste makes this a definite melt-in-your mouth gem of a cookie.

ALMOND SUGAR COOKIES

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

1 cup softened butter (no substitutions)

3/4 cup sugar

1 tsp almond extract

In a large mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar. Beat in the almond extract.

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

Sift these three dry ingredients.

Add this dry mixture to the creamed mixture.

With your hands, roll into 1 inch balls.

Place two inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet.

Coat the bottom of a glass with cooking spray.

Dip the glass into a bit of sugar and flatten the cookie balls.

Baked at 400 for 7 - 9 minutes or longer (12 minutes) if the cookie dough balls were larger.

Remove the cookie sheet when the edges of the cookies are lightly brown.

Cool for 1 minute and remove the cookies to a wire rack.

For Glaze:

1 cup confectioners' sugar

1 1/2 tsp almond extract

2 - 3 tsp water.

sliced almonds, toasted

In a small bowl, whisk together the confectioners' sugar, almond extract and enough water to achieve a glaze consistency to drizzle.

Tint with food coloring if desired and drizzle a bit onto each cookie.

Let the cookies cool before you add the drizzle or the icing melts into the cookie.

Sprinkle with almond slices.

Makes 3 - 4 dozen, depending how big the dough balls were.

Applesauce Raisin Muffins, Cold Weather Goodness

 Cold weather weekend mornings are perfect for homemade goodness at breakfast or mid-day snacking. Better yet if these muffins started with homemade applesauce!

This recipe was probably cut from a Taste of Home magazine but who knows from what issue.

MOTHER'S APPLESAUCE MUFFINS

4 cups flour (you can use 1/2 all-purpose and 1/2 oat or wheat)

1 tbsp ground cinnamon

1 tbs ground allspice

2 tsp baking soda

Combine and sift to blend these four dry ingredients in a large bowl.

1 cup butter (soften in microwave if right out of refrigerator)

2 cups sugar

Cream the butter and the sugar in a mixing bowl

Then beat in:

2 eggs

2 cups applesauce

2 tbsp vanilla extract

Fold the butter/sugar mixture into the dry mixture and stir just until moistened. 

Add 1 cup raisins

Don't over mix or muffins can be tough.

Grease muffin pans

Pour the batter into 24 muffin cups about 3/4 full each

Bake at 350 degrees F

20 - 25 minutes or until a toothpick tests done

Cool in pan 10 minutes before removing or muffins may stick.

Cool on a wire rack

Yield 2 dozen

Freeze for later if desired

Enjoy this old-fashioned, healthy recipe!

Ideal for a quick, nutritious breakfast, lunch or anytime snack.

Perfect to make ahead and save for holiday gift giving and party contributions.

Apple Crisp, Cross between a cookie and a pie

Apple season is here and you can never have too many recipes on ways to enjoy them. It is the week before Thanksgiving and the weather has taken a downhill spiral seemingly overnight. So what is there to do on a blustery Sunday afternoon but enjoy home baked goodness and a steaming hot cup of coffee.

This recipe for Apple Crisp is a combination of a crisp oatmeal cookie and apple pie. But you don't have to deal with making a pie crust and most likely the ingredients are already in the cupboard. Originally from an issue of Taste Of Home magazine, this recipe was contributed by Gertrude Bartnick of Wisconsin.

APPLE CRISP

Preheat the oven to 350 F

In a mixing bowl, combine these four ingredients:
 1 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 cup rolled oats
1 cup packed brown sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon

Cut in:
1/2 cup butter which is 1 stick.

If right out of the refrigerator, soften for 20 seconds in the microwave. You want it softened a bit but not melted.
Use a pastry blender tool to cut in the butter until the mixture is crumbly.
Press half of this mix into a greased baking pan.
The recipe says to use a 2 1/2 qt. baking dish or a 9 inch square baking pan.
I had doubled the recipe so in the photo shown I had used a 9 x 12 in. baking dish.

Peel and chop:
4 cups apples

Add the chopped apples to cover the crumbly mixture already in the baking pan.

In a saucepan, combine:
1 cup sugar
2 tbsp. cornstarch or arrowroot powder
1 cup water
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Cand stir this sugar mixture until it comes to a slight boil and turns thick and clear.


Pour the sugar mixture over the apples which are already in the baking pan.

Sprinkle with the remaining crumb mixture.

Bake at 350 degrees for about 1 hour or until the apples are tender and the topping is golden brown.

Let sit to thicken up before cutting into it to serve.
Serve warm as is or add a scoop of vanilla ice cream to each serving.

Salt, Lemons, Vinegar, Baking Soda...Helping Hand to Raising Children

Though many of us are aware how useful the Fab Four (Salt, Lemons, Vinegar, and Baking Soda) by Shea Zukowski can be around the house for anyone seeking earth-friendly solutions, it is difficult to actually remember which is for what purpose.

I came across this little gem of a book and now I have all these tips in one place for reference instead of forgetting where I read those tips and to where I filed them away. The book is categorized into sections including kitchen, laundry, personal, pet and outdoors. For this post I am just going to center on what can be useful to make life easier in raising children.

CLOTH DIAPER CLEANER

1/2 cup baking soda
1/4 cup vinegar
Fragrance-free liquid laundry detergent

Add the baking soda to the wash cycle along with the detergent. Baking soda helps neutralize the acids in the dirty diapers.
Add the vinegar to the rinse cycle to soften clothes and help remove the detergent.


BABY FORMULA STAIN REMOVER

1/4 cup lemon juice
1/4 cup water

Baby formula easily stains clothing because of it's high protein content. Keep this mix in a spray bottle in the refrigerator so it is handy to pre-treat stains as soon as possible. Let the garment air dry in the sun and then wash as usual.


BABY AND CHILD TOY DISINFECTANT

1/4 cup vinegar

Soak a clean cloth in the 1/4 cup of vinegar and wipe down all  non-plush toys. Allow items to air dry. The vinegar scent will fade away.


STUFFED ANIMAL CLEANER

1/2 cup baking soda

Not all plush toys can be put into the washing machine. To rid stuffed animals of odors, put them in a plastic zip lock bag along with the baking soda. Shake the bag to distribute the baking soda over the stuffed animals and let sit overnight. Remove the toys and shake off the excess baking soda.


URINE SMELL ELIMINATOR

2 cups vinegar
1 cup water
1 cup baking soda

Bed wetting can be frustrating for everyone. There are waterproof mattress covers to protect the mattress but if the deed is already done you'll want to get rid of the smell of urine. Mix the vinegar and water and apply with a sponge to the affected areas. Blot dry with a towel and cover the spot with the baking soda. Let the area fully dry and then vacuum.


MUDDY CARPET CLEANER

When kids or pets come charging into the house leaving a trail of muddy footprints behind them, resist the urge to try blotting it up. This could just drive the dirt deeper into the carpet fibers. Take a handful of plain old salt and sprinkle generously onto the messy spots and leave it. Give the salt time to absorb the liquid and once dry vacuum it up.


PRE-TREATMENT FOR GRASS AND OTHER STAINS 

1 Tbsp baking soda
1 Tsp lemon juice OR 1 tsp vinegar

Stained knees and shirt fronts are prime targets for stained clothes. Sprinkle baking soda on the area, followed up with the lemon juice or vinegar on top. As the mixture starts to fizz, rub the fabric or use a toothbrush to rub it in to make sure the mix is getting through the stain. Let it sit a few minutes and then launder as usual.


CHEWING GUM REMOVER

Before you grab the scissors to cut out gum stuck in your child's hair, try using a lemon. Cut a lemon in half and rub the cut side onto the gum to help it loosen its grip. Gently squeeze the lemon to release some juice. Lemons can cause some bleaching so rinse the hair. This method can work on clothes and carpets as well, just remember to blot it up so it doesn't lighten the carpet.

SWIMMER'S EAR PREVENTION

2 Tbsp vinegar
2 Tbsp isopropyl alcohol

After a day of swimming there is always a chance the protective layer of wax in the outer ear canal gets worn away. Bacteria rich water from swimming can get in there and cause an infection. To lower this risk, make a solution of equal parts vinegar and isopropyl alcohol and store in a bottle or jar. Soak a cotton ball in the mixture and squeeze a few drops into each ear after swimming.


POOL TOY MILDEW PREVENTION

Inflatable pool toys are susceptible to mold and mildew once deflated and stored away for the winter. To minimize this from happening, let them sit in the sun to thoroughly dry before storing. Sprinkle each deflated item with a handful of baking soda before rolling up.


FRUIT AND VEGETABLE WASH

1 Tbsp lemon juice
2 Tbsp baking soda
1 cup water

A homemade, very economical fruit and vegetable spray to remove waxy coatings and help clean off pesticides. Fill a spray bottle with the lemon juice, baking soda and water. Shake before use. Spray the produce before eating and rinse it well to remove any aftertaste from the wash. The spray will last about a week.

NEED SOMETHING TO DO KID ACTIVITIES

SALT PAINTING

4 to 5 small bowls of salt
Food coloring of different colors
School glue
sponge brush
Paper

Pour an equal amount of salt into a few small bowls. A few Tbsp in each should be plenty.
Add a drop of food coloring into each bowl and stir to create different colors.
Using the sponge brush, coat a piece of paper with a thin layer of glue and let the children sprinkle the colored salt to form pictures and patterns.

SALT CLAY DOUGH

1 cup salt
1 1/4 cups warm water
1 Tbsp vegetable oil
3 cups flour

Mix the salt with the warm water and stir to dissolve. Add the vegetable oil and flour and stir slowly to combine. Knead the dough till pliable, adding flour if necessary till not sticky. If desired, divide into smaller balls and add a few drops food coloring to each to make different color dough balls. Store the play dough in a zip lock bag or lidded container. If the kids want to save their creations, let them air dry a few days and paint them with watercolor or acrylic paints. A thin coating of clear nail polish will help preserve them.


Here are three other posts about natural care for adults and children:
All Natural Care for Mom and Baby

The Well Stocked Natural Child's First Aid Kit

Dealing with the Pitfalls of Summer, Naturally

CRANBERRY OAT COOKIES...Take a Break From the Cold

Shoveling out from under a snowstorm is what you make of it. It can be nothing but a cursing with every shovelful or it can be a steady, take your time, meditative type of chore. Whatever it may be, there is little else more motivating than to know that when you're done you can leisurely sit and enjoy a plate of homemade cookies.

This recipe comes from Taste of Home magazine, sent in by Heather Breen
With the addition of oats and dried cranberries, it is a tasty, a bit healthy cookie, crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside.

CRANBERRY OAT COOKIES

Mix these three ingredients together in a large bowl:
1 1/4 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
2/3 cup oil of choice, the recipe called for canola

Beat in:
2 eggs
2 tbsp milk
1 1/2 tsp vanilla

Combine and sift together in another medium size bowl:
2 1/2 cups quick-cooking oats
1 3/4 cup all-purpose flour or you can divide that up with wheat or oat flour

1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt

Gradually add the flour mixture to the sugar mixture.
Stir in:
1 cup dried cranberries

Drop by teaspoonfuls onto a greased baking sheet.
Bake at 375 degrees F for 10 minutes.
Only let cool about 3 minutes and then remove to a wire rack. If cookies remain on pan too long they will stick.

This batch makes about 4 dozen

Holiday Wreaths, Reused, Resurfaced Memories

Craft stores and holiday bazaars abound with beautiful home decor to beautifully decorate your home for the holiday season. But you can create your own work of art even if you don't believe yourself to be all that crafty. We all have an imagination, it just seems to get buried over the years with the load of everyday responsibilities leaving little time to revisit that part of us.

If you have a love for thrift shops, yard sales and bargain bins, try to get in the habit of collecting stuff for the "possibilities" of what can be done with it. You can often find wreaths you may not like as is, but they can be taken apart to reuse the base wreath.

This wreath started with one of those wire wreath frames. Wrapped around that frame is burlap that you can get on a roll. Wrap the burlap around the metal frame, overlapping the edges as you go and do it tightly enough to eliminate any bulges. Use a safety pin to secure the end or glue it down with a hot glue gun. What you do from there is up to your own creativity, but for this one I had one of those artificial berry garlands that are used to drape mantels and doorways. This one was about four foot long. I tucked the wire on one end under the gaps from wrapping the burlap and then wound the garland around and around the wreath and tucked the other end under the burlap as well. Add a loop of fabric or ribbon around one of the vines for hanging.

Plastic canvas is a fun needlework project that requires time and patience but once done, these craft projects are very rewarding to know you made it yourself. Digging them out at the holidays can bring back memories on what was happening in your life at the time you were working on them.
If you don't have time or interest in making your own, these little sewing creations can be found at craft shows and thrift shops. Someone put a lot of time and loving energy into creating these types of sewing kits and it is a shame to see them end up at a thrift shop. So if you can bring a new life back into someone's work that would be great.
The chickadee seen above on this burlap wreath had been a gift to my mother-in-law and holds a special place in our hearts now that it has been returned to us so many years later.

This wreath was another thrift shop recycle project. I bought the green wreath as it was and took off the trimmings it already had. I wrapped the whole thing with a 50 bulb string of the tiny white lights. Use the string with a bulb on one end and a positive plug on the other. If you use one of the end-to-end types of lights you'll have to hide the negative plug so it doesn't show.

Next, use whatever trimmings you have to decorate your wreath. A hot glue gun works great for lightweight balls, ornaments and ribbons. The Rudolph plastic canvas was done when my children were small and to now have it pulled out again and added to this wreath means it'll  bring back fond memories every year when the kids come home for Christmas.

So have fun and let your imagination soar as you decorate your home with a little piece of who you really are!

The Slow Fade of Dementia, Ambiguous and Anticipatory Loss, Grief

Caregivers bear the tremendous burden of witnessing the early signs of change in the behavior of their loved one and dealing with the anger and denial of trying to get through to the rest of the family. One very important thing family members don't understand is that unless you actually live with someone day in and day out you just don't see the same person as does the caregiver. The social stimulation of visits and the fussing from loved ones brought out conversation and smiles, only to return home and sink right back down under that black cloud.

Taking care of my mother for over two years has left me a puddle of tearful grief for the slow fading of my precious Mom and the bewildering, questioning of my own sanity. Changes in behavior brought the constant questions of what is normal for her personality, what is part of her condition, what could be a side effect from medications? Dealing with memory loss and confusion is bad enough for a person, but to add a chronic condition such as COPD on top of that and the resulting depression was enough to pull her down into a pit of despair. My desperation for her to fight only resulted in the wall between us to build brick by brick.




Together, we went through all the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Accepting this "new normal" as her life, having no choice but to leave her home and give up control and independence, was incomprehensible.  My reaction was to push, nag, beg, cry, whatever it took to get her to fight to maintain her strength, physically and mentally.  It was all- consuming, while my Mom continued to slowly lose a bit more of her spirit with each new day she woke to realize she had to get through another day. Fast forward three years and now that another sibling is caring for our mother, she is a medicated, zombie of her former self. The solution to the constant anxiety of struggling to breathe is that if the anxiety is relieved we can avoid the tendency to hyperventilate and thus panic. Welcome to the world of narcotics.

The stage of acceptance has arrived and she just doesn't care anymore. The version of Mom that is in the present is what the siblings actually interpret as her being "better". There is quiet and peace in the household only because there is no longer anyone "making waves" by pushing for alternatives and therapies. Palliative care is all there is now.

Gone is the frustration between what she "won't" versus "can't" do for herself. Now it is just the tender care as though she were our child. Now we deal with the guilt associated with our past reactions and emotions while dealing at that time with the craziness. But at that time we didn't understand what was going on. To reflect back now, bits and pieces make more sense. But that war of guilt continues to rage within our own minds, struggling for self-forgiveness for whatever we imagine we did so wrong.

Ambiguous loss and Anticipatory grief can be described as unresolved grief. It is different from the loss and grief surrounding a death. Closure is not possible and there is no peace because the loved one is still physically alive. This is the world surrounding and consuming a family dealing with dementia. This is the world of the patient herself as she must accept the slow loss of her own self and be very aware of it while it is happening.

There is confusion of the use of the words dementia and Alzheimer's disease. They are used interchangeably, but are not the same thing. Alzheimer's is a disease, dementia is not. Dementia is group of symptoms that affect mental tasks like memory and reasoning. Dementia can be caused by a variety of conditions, with Alzheimer's being the most common.

One of those conditions is called Vascular Dementia which is problems with the blood vessels. The brain needs a good supply of oxygen rich blood and if this supply is hindered and the brain is deprived of enough oxygen, as is with COPD, the brain cells could die. Symptoms may appear suddenly or gradually. A major stroke will cause symptoms to appear suddenly, while a series of mini strokes that may have happened over time, will cause a slower progression of symptoms.

There are several ways that COPD may affect thinking and memory. As less air is taken into the lungs, over time the blood oxygen levels in the blood become too low. Low levels of oxygen to the brain may cause neural damage with could increase the risk for memory problems. One big problem with a condition like COPD is that there is inflammation not just with the lungs, but inflammation of the entire body. Elevated levels of certain body chemicals related to inflammation can be linked to memory problems. Another issue is that because the body is working so hard to breathe and get enough oxygen there is the need to sleep more. If a person has trouble sleeping, the resulting fatigue can further interfere with thinking straight.

Since behavior changes can be so subtle, they may only be noticed by the patient himself/herself or by those who live with him or her. So the battle can begin with getting the message across to other family members that something is wrong and getting them to respect the patient or the caregiver's suspicions. It is interesting how differently people react to a physical condition versus something being wrong with the mind. At a time when family should be sticking together and supporting one another, it can become a nightmare when denial, fear, and/or the need for control over decisions, interferes with the big picture of what is best for the loved one.



Aside from going on and on with that, what it all boils down to is the fact that we miss our Mom. I miss the phone calls to rehash whatever event just happened in the family. I miss rambling on and on about the busy lives of our children. Gone is the interest she used to have in our world. Our children are going through the most exciting times in their lives with graduations, weddings, new careers, new homes...and though their beloved Nana is physically here, there is no longer the two way street of sharing in all those precious moments. The conversation is sadly one sided and often forgotten by the next day.
The strain to maintain a close relationship is becoming more difficult and though they call and visit, their lives are going on and their Nana is being left behind.

Witnessing the slow fade of someone we love is heart wrenching and everyone reacts differently in terms of their personal loss. Some hover and some run. We all deal with grief and loss in our own way and we need to respect one another without judgement. The emotional strain and pain of losing someone bit by bit is such a crazy state of limbo to have to go through. Though the mind may come to terms with the realities of the disease and expected outcome, it is unrealistic to expect the heart to be on the same time schedule. We have no choice but to anticipate that final loss, but to have to play the waiting game can be a horrendous, surreal roller coaster ride.


The best medicine in this world is love. When there is little else anyone can do, it is time to up the dose!

A Toast to our Children in the Blessing of Marriage

Weddings are a wonderful opportunity for friends and family to gather, put aside their differences, and focus on the happiness of two people united in love and their new chapter in life. As parents, we can only hope the nervous bride and groom can focus on the service enough to get anything out of its message. The Pastor gave some very important messages for any of us striving for a successful and lasting relationship.

People often view their partner as the missing piece needed to make them whole. We cannot view ourselves as an incomplete puzzle with our partner as that missing piece. It sounds romantic to speak poetic like that but to take it literally puts the partner in the position to feel pressured and in prt responsible for the other person's happiness. We are not a possession of one another.

The secret of a healthy relationship is to not say to ourselves, "Am I loved?", but rather say "Am I loving?". To continually question whether we are loved does nothing but put the other person in the position to feel tested and having to prove his/her love. We are told that love is a verb, which is true. To love is an action, but we have to stop interpreting every little annoying thing our spouse does as failing us in some way. that "if he loved me he wouldn't be so thoughtless" or "if he loved me he would already know that without me having to tell him". That patter of thinking adds to our own insecurity which soon puts a wedge between two people. Insecurity becomes very draining to any type of relationship and the end result is the desire to escape.

To ask ourselves whether we are loving forces us to observe our behavior and how we must appear to that other person. It puts us outside of ourselves in a better position to focus on where our energy is being spent; are we focusing more on giving or receiving.

YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO CHANGE A PERSON OR A SITUATION, BUT YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS THAT PERSON OR SITUATION.
There are often occasions that we are up against the wall and come to realize that we just have to "accept the things we cannot change, have the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference". Once you fully accept "it is what it is", a tremendous burden will be lifted.

When two people both hold their ground over their differences, emotions tend to escalate and things just get worse. Whether the other person is "wrong" or not isn't the point. What matters is that the only thing we can change is our attitude.

FOCUS ON THE FAULTS OF YOURSELF AND THE GOODNESS IN YOUR PARTNER.
Too often we expect our partner to behave as we would in a given situation. It is almost like we wish that person to be a version of ourselves. It is much easier to find fault in someone else or the circumstances of a situation than to stand back and take a hard look at ourselves. It takes work and an open mind to seek self-improvement and self-enlightenment without the defense mechanisms of denial and projection standing in the way.  You'll get much farther with communication if you make an effort to build up that person rather than tear down. The two words you should try not to use are "never" and "always". Those words immediately put the other person on the defensive which can easily send the conversation downhill rather quickly.

TRY TO ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOUR PARTNER IS A GIFT.
Everything about what makes that person a unique individual is now yours to share and vice versa. Obviously, those traits are what each person fell in love with in the first place. Yet it is so easy to loose focus on any of that once the honeymoon phase is past and life settles into an everyday routine with all the pressures and worries of reality. Make a point to regularly stand back and appreciate this person who actually wants to share a life with you. Once you realize that this person standing before you is a gift from God everything about them becomes more amazing and something to treasure.

Everyone has their own beliefs in the existence of a power greater than ourselves. Relationships are so much easier and stronger when both partners share in those convictions. The world doesn't revolve around us and those who share the security of seeking a higher power for strength and guidance relieve themselves of the drain of worrying about that which is beyond our control.

THE RING IS A SIGN OF THE LOVE AND FIDELITY OF THE ONE WHO GIVES IT. 
That ring was placed on the finger by your partner. Don't think its meaning is simply a love that never ends. It represents the commitment, love and faithfulness of your spouse to you! The wedding rings are never taken off because we're to see it as an ongoing reminder of the promise made to us by that other person.





The tears and emotions flooding through every parent who has witnessed the most memorable, important event in the lives of their children can be impossible to put into words. Years of images topple over one another in a flash of memory as we symbolically hand over our children to begin a life outside of our own.

So now it is time to turn the page and begin another chapter in this book we call life.

A Toast to Our Children in the Blessing of Marriage

Weddings are a wonderful opportunity for friends and family to gather, put aside their differences, and focus on the happiness of two people united in love and their new chapter in life. As parents, we can only hope the nervous bride and groom can focus on the service enough to get anything out of its message. The Pastor gave some very important messages for any of us striving for a successful and lasting relationship.

People often view their partner as the missing piece needed to make them whole. We cannot view ourselves as an incomplete puzzle with our partner as that missing piece. It sounds romantic to speak poetic like that but to take it literally puts the partner in the position to feel pressured and in part responsible for the other person's happiness. We are not a possession of one another.

The secret of a healthy relationship is to not say to ourselves, "Am I loved?", but rather "Am I loving?" To continually question whether we are loved does nothing but put the other person in the position to feel tested and having to prove his/her love. We are told that love is a verb which is very true. To love is an action but we have to stop interpreting every little annoying thing our spouse does as failing us in some way. That "if he loved me he wouldn't be so thoughtless" or "if he loved me he would already know that without me having to tell him".  That pattern of thinking adds to our own insecurity which soon puts a wedge between two people. Insecurity becomes very draining to any type of relationship and the end result is the desire to escape.

To ask ourselves whether we are loving forces us to observe our behavior and how we must appear to that other person. It puts us outside of ourselves in a better position to focus on where our energy is being spent, are we focusing more on giving or receiving.  

YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO CHANGE A PERSON OR A SITUATION, BUT YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS THAT PERSON OR SITUATION
There are often occasions that we are up against the wall and finally realize that we just have to "accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference". Once you fully accept "it is what it is" a tremendous burden will be lifted, and you'll be amazed how much better you feel.

When two people both hold their ground over their differences, emotions tend to escalate and things just get worse. Whether the other person is "wrong" or not isn't the point. The point is that the only thing we can really change is our attitude about a situation. 

FOCUS ON THE FAULTS OF YOURSELF AND THE GOODNESS IN YOUR PARTNER.
Too often we expect our partner to behave as we would in a given situation. It is almost like we wish that person to be a version of ourselves. It is much easier to find fault in someone else or the circumstances of a situation than to stand back and take a hard look at ourselves. It takes work and an open mind to seek self-improvement and self-enlightenment without the defense mechanisms of denial and projection standing in the way.  You'll get much farther with communication if you make an effort to build up that person rather than tear down. The two words you should try not to use are "never" and "always". Those words immediately put the other person on the defensive which can easily send the conversation downhill rather quickly.

TRY TO ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOUR PARTNER IS A GIFT. Everything about what makes that person a unique individual is now yours to share and vice versa. Obviously, those traits are what each person fell in love with in the first place. Yet it is so easy to loose focus on any of that once the honeymoon phase is past and life settles into an everyday routine with all the pressures and worries of reality. Make a point to regularly stand back and appreciate this person who actually wants to share a life with you. Once you realize that this person standing before you is a gift from God everything about them becomes more amazing and something to treasure.

Everyone has their own beliefs in the existence of a power greater than ourselves. Relationships are so much easier and stronger when both partners share in those convictions. The world doesn't revolve around us and those who share the security of seeking a higher power for strength and guidance relieve themselves of the drain of worrying about that which is beyond our control.

THE RING IS A SIGN OF THE LOVE AND FIDELITY OF THE ONE WHO GIVES IT. That ring was placed on the finger by your partner. Don't think its meaning is simply a love that never ends. It represents the commitment, love and faithfulness of your spouse to you! The wedding rings are never taken off because we're to see it as an ongoing reminder of the promise made to us by that other person.





The tears and emotions flooding through every parent who has witnessed the most memorable, important event in the lives of their children can be impossible to put into words. Years of images topple over one another in a flash of memory as we symbolically hand over our children to begin a life outside of our own.

So now it is time to turn the page and begin another chapter in this book we call life. 

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENTS, WEEK THIRTEEN, March 26 - April 1

Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much

March 26

"Courage - fear that has said its prayers."
Dorothy Bernard

I've heard the saying that fear is lack of faith. If that is true than I suppose it is correct that courage comes from being in touch with our spirituality. We take chances, stumble from mistakes and put ourselves in a position to speak up rather than silently grumble and simmer. How do we do any of those while feeling like a quivering bowl of jello? We face our fears by knowing our connection to the power that is in us and beyond us. We learn courage.

March 27

"Only the dusty flowers, the clank of censers and tracks, leading from somewhere to nowhere."
Anna Akhmatova

A line from a song goes, "Don't go straight, Go forward." There is no assurance that getting your life back on track will go easy or in a straight line. Even when we do all the right things and follow all the rules, there will be times when we feel discouraged and have the "what's it all for anyway" attitude. Even if our windy path doesn't seem to be going anywhere, realize that as long as you stay on the road you'll be going somewhere.

March 28

"If God is a fly on the wall, Nanny, hand me a fly swatter."
Gaby Brimmer

Most of us feel God has abandoned us at one time or another and feel angry. But once the crisis is past and we look back, we realize that the problem wasn't that God was absent and believing was a farce anyway. The problem was that though we appear to be turning it all over to God, we still hope or even expect things to go our way. Our way is not always what is in the overall plan.

March 29

"It is the soul's duty to be loyal to its own desires. It must abandon itself to its master passion."
Rebecca West

There is a difference between true passion for your work and being a workaholic. Passion feeds you but compulsive working can devour you. Our competitive world confuses the two. True passion and doing what is important for us to do does not require us to destroy ourselves in the process.

March 30

"A clay pot sitting in the sun will always be a clay pot. It has to go through the white heat of the furnace to become porcelain."
Mildred Witte Stouven

Not all of us have what it takes or even want to go through what it takes to become porcelain.  There is nothing wrong with being a clay pot, but we all have furnaces in our lives and the possibilities of becoming porcelain. It is our faith that facilitates our surrender to the firing. Very sad is to go through the furnace yet learn nothing of what it takes to become porcelain. We all have furnaces in our lives but not all of us glean the lessons from the firing.

March 31

"Flowers grow out of dark moments."
Corita Kent

Pain is inevitable in life, but we can learn that a lot of our suffering stems from an unwillingness to let go of old beliefs, hold onto past issues, or the illusion of control. Some of us get the picture with a little of life's nudging, others need "a whack along the side of the head". Disease is dis-ease and with that comes suffering. That pain can teach us about the choices we have made. Such dark moments of despair often result in the blooming of flowers when we "get it".

April 1

"April comes like an idiot, babbling, and strewing flowers."
Edna St. Vincent Millay

One of the gifts of life is the changing of the weather and the seasons. When we fight and gripe about the weather, we waste a lot of energy. There is nothing like nature to relinquish some of our illusions of control. The seasons can teach us to take the good with the bad and even tough days are a gift if we learn to participate in what they have to offer. Spring brings erratic giddiness and energy, Summer brings time for laziness, Autumn creates a sense of preparation and gathering, and Winter makes us yearn for cozy togetherness. Take from each season the gifts it offers and enjoy being in the moment at hand. There is meaning to the quip, "Your presence in the present is a present in itself".


To read the previous posts:

To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28

Week 5 January 29 - February 4
Week 6 February 5 - February 11
Week 7 February 12 - February 18
Week 8 February 19 - February 25

Week 9 February 26 - March 4
Week 10 March 5 - March 11
Week 11 March 12 - March 18 
Week 12 March 19 - March 25
   

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENTS, WEEK ELEVEN, March 12 - March 18

Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much

March 12

"Of all the idiots I have met in my life, and the Lord knows that they have not been few or little, I think that I have been the biggest."
Isak Kinesen

Very powerful for clearing away the baggage we carry around in our lives is accepting the fact that we do make mistakes and making amends with those we may have wronged. To own our own lives we must first own up to our errors and not continue to beat ourselves up over those mistakes.

March 13

"We are not human beings trying to be spiritual. We are spiritual beings trying to be human."
Jacquelyn Small

It is said that we are first spiritual beings and only when we realize the enormity of that, can we be fully human. To be spiritual isn't something we choose to be, it is who we are. To be spiritual does not mean you are categorized into a certain religious denomination. Don't confuse the two. With everything we do, every decision we make, our spirituality is there.

March 14

"Fury gathered until I was swollen with it."
Vera Randal

A good scream is the perfect release for pent up emotions and stress. Though we may feel foolish afterward, we have to admit we do feel better. Of course, this best be done without anyone in earshot to be verbally offended or think us crazy.

March 15

"When we, as individuals, first rediscover our spirit, we are usually drawn to nurture and cultivate this awareness."
Shakti Gawain

There is no way to know ourselves unless we have time alone to explore. We have to remember that there is someone inside of us worth knowing. Many people don't like to be alone, either out of a need for a connection with another, or perhaps they don't want to discover who it is they really are. We have to stop all the busyness and realize that alone time is as essential as our other basic needs.

March 16

"I have been told that crying makes me seem soft and therefore of little consequence. As if our softness has to be the price we pay out for power, rather than simply the one that's paid most easily and most often."
Audre Lorde

Tears and softness are not really valued in this society. When women do show their soft side it may be seen as an indirect form of manipulation. But there shouldn't be the need to give up the soft side of who we are and turn on the tough guy act to attain respect. There is a time for tears and there is a time for assertiveness, both can be an expression of strength and love.

March 17

"The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been."
Madeline L'Engle

Life is a process and it takes every experience along the way to develop the person we have become. It is a mistake to try to block out certain periods of our lives because they were the result of poor decisions or painful. Getting through the tough times pushed us beyond our limits and into stronger and wiser individuals. Every wrinkle and ache has been hard earned and we need to be proud and thankful for having the opportunity to get older.

March 18

"For me it's a constant discipline to remember to go back inside to connect with my intuition."
Shakti Gawain

Listening to our intuition is a wise thing to do. We need to trust our instincts and respect those first gut feelings about situations. Self-doubt and insecurity can be one's own downfall as time and again we could kick ourselves for not trusting our instincts and heeding the advice from elsewhere. We have much more brainpower than we realize. We live in a society that develops the logical/rational/linear parts of our brains and leaves undeveloped our awareness, intuition and creativity. Remember that those parts of our brains are just as important and are always waiting to be sought out.


To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28

Week 5 January 29 - February 4
Week 6 February 5 - February 11
Week 7 February 12 - February 18
Week 8 February 19 - February 25

Week 9 February 26 - March 4
Week 10 March 5 - March 11

What do Daffodils have to do with Narcissism

By the time March rolls around we are usually craving the first sightings of our old Daffodil friends to make their appearance through the cold, muddy ground.

If you are into flowers then you may be intrigued by all the stories and lore behind their names, origins, symbolism and contributions. Every month has a flower and the flower for March is a Mediterranean native, the Daffodil.

The word daffodil comes from the Greek word asphodel which means "kings spear". The botanical name is from the Latin, Narcissus. Also called paperwhites and jonquils, they are the same flower, just used differently. Daffodils are used to describe the large trumpet type flowers and narcissi are used to describe the types with several fragrant flowers on each stem.

Daffodils are perennials grown from bulbs, and are favorites because they never fail to return year after year. Often preferred over tulips for the reason that due to it being a toxic plant, rodents usually leave the bulbs alone. Containing the alkaloid poison lycorine, the plant is poisonous if eaten. It is said that Roman soldiers  would bring the plants onto the battlefield and when injured to the point of death, the plant would be eaten to relieve pain and hasten the inevitable.

Though toxic if ingested, herbalists do use the sap as a cleansing agent for wound care, soothe burns and induce vomiting. It has been found to contain properties now known to help with Alzheimer's disease in the form of a drug called Galantamine.

Said to represent rebirth and new beginnings, daffodils are symbolic for spring, but also represent symbolic affection. When letting someone know that you feel the same way towards him as he does towards you, jonquil flowers are given as unrequited love.


So what do daffodils have to do with the word narcissism? You may be familiar with the Greek tale of Narcissus, the physically beautiful young man who being so self-absorbed, rejected all potential lovers. When he spurned the sensitive spirit of the nymph, Echo, he brought on the wrath of the powerful god of revenge, Nemesis. Nemesis caused Narcissus to fall in love with himself, to which he became obsessed with his own reflection in a pool of water. Not realizing the reflection was himself and not a lover, he became unable to tear himself away and ended up committing suicide by drowning. When the nymphs returned to take his body for burial, they discovered in place of where the body had been there was a lovely flower with yellow blossoms, and so gave the flower the same name, Narcissus.


The term "narcissism" was introduced in 1887 by Alfred Binet as a term describing men who were self-absorbed and incapable of developing a healthy relationship with another person. Its usage today stems from Freud's 1914 essay, On Narcissism. Freud expanded the term to explain the difference between being pathologically self-absorbed and normal interest in oneself.


People who find themselves in a relationship with a narcissist often don't recognize the signs in the beginning. In fact, the characteristics of a narcissist often are initially found to be very attractive. These people seem to always know just what to say and do and the partner may think he or she has found their soul mate. But then the roller coaster ride begins.


The meaning of love is full of myth in definition. It is not about inflated egos or manipulation or obsession. If a person is fine with being subjugated and having their own needs disregarded then the relationship may just work in its dysfunctional way. Trying to have a healthy relationship with a narcissist often proves very destructive to those involved, be it a partner, family member, friends or coworkers.


Narcissists have a profound inability to show empathy for others. People in their lives are usually there to serve a purpose for them, be it a financial stepping stone or just another piece in their plan for success. The term narcissus is related to the word narcotic, which in Greek means, "to numb". A Narcissist is numb or immune to the pain of others, they simply do not care.

Of course we admire a partner who is self-confident and a go-getter. But if there is a need for self-inflation, haughty, intimidating body language, the need to demand undivided attention from a group, impatience with the "stupidity" of people, quick to anger with anyone "wasting" his time, possessiveness over another, these are all red flags.


To make a relationship work with such a person, the partner has to be aware that they are basically dealing with a child. When children are small, they are naturally self-centered and think the world revolves around them. Normally, by the age of five, life experiences give them a rude enough awakening and they figure out pretty quick the reality of their place in the grand scheme of things. Picture the "everyone exists to serve me" mentality in the body of an adult with authority over people and it can become a recipe for disaster to the people caught up in such a relationship.

 To expect to be able to convince or assume such a person will take responsibility for his own behavior without finding blame in everyone else is a fantasy. To think that working harder, loving more or changing oneself will help is exhausting and possibly self-destructive.


Information for this post comes from the article:
Narcissism Isn't a Yellow Daffodil

MEADOW MUFFIN MOMENTS, WEEK TEN, MARCH 5 - MARCH 11

Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much

 March 5

"Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty."
Mother Teresa

It is said that loneliness is not outside, it's inside.
To some it may be hard to understand how a person can be dealing with people all day yet feel all alone. But for many of us who are constantly busy with little extra time to really connect with those we interact with, we may feel very little real connection, and that can be a lonely place. Avoiding a real closeness with people may be a way of avoiding intimacy or getting hurt. For those who feel they can easily be alone and not be lonely, than fine. But for those who feel out of sync and try to fill that void with busyness, they need to reconnect with their spiritual being in order to rediscover what is in their hearts.

March 6

"It has been wisely said that we cannot really love anybody at whom we never laugh."
Agnes Repplier

To be oversensitive and not be able to laugh at ourselves or at one another, is probably going to result in the failure of an intimate relationship. Getting to really know a person involves seeing their "moments" of what it is to be human. We aren't robots. We stumble and flounder and often make fools of ourselves. To be able to put the ego aside and laugh at it all creates relationships that are grounded in reality, and that is the foundation for intimacy.

March 7

"If, as someone has said,"...to be truly civilized, is to embrace disease..."
Robyn Davidson

The world can be a crazy place. When we are in situations where it just seems bizarre, over time our ability to separate what makes sense from what doesn't may get to the point where we question our own sanity. In trying to constantly adjust to crazy situations, we may start to question what is normal, what is dysfunction and what it really means to "go with the flow".  No, we're not crazy, it is just that a situation may seem to require a crazy person.

March 8

"I found God in myself and I loved her/I loved her fiercely."
Ntozake Shange

"Contact with God is so simple, and we make it so difficult."
It is only when we really know ourselves that we can become aware of the divinity that we share with all things. We are part of this whole scheme of things and once we can love ourselves we can connect with a higher power. Western culture may not appear to value the fact that spirituality is an important  basic need, just as are the physical, emotional and psychological sides.

March 9

"Part of my satisfaction and exultation at each eruption was unmistakably feminist solidarity. You men think you're the only ones that can make a really nasty mess? You think you got all the firepower and God's on your side? You think you run things? Watch this, gents. Watch the Lady act like a woman."
Ursula K. Le Guin

Isn't it interesting that uncontrollable acts of nature are so often given female names. Our technocratic society so often identifies nature as female, a force that is unpredictable and often difficult to control. Mount Saint Helens has become such a symbol. We not only have no control over her eruptions, we can not even predict what she is going to do  next, even with constant surveillance. Nature tells us again and again that we are not always in charge. It is hysterical that when a female simmers silently she is described as a typical woman, and when she blows her top she is also described as a typical woman.

March 10

"I am suddenly filled with that sense of peace and meaning which is, I suppose, what the pious have in mind when they talk about the practice of the presence of God."
Valerie Taylor

The word serenity is something we throw around as needing, yet rarely act upon understanding what it really means. To begin slowing down and taking time out for better mental and physical health, we can catch moments of peace and calm. We have to see these moments as a special thing and not get bored the moment we step away from all the action and drama around us. Serenity is available to all of us.

March 11

"My tidiness and my untidiness, are full of regret and remorse and complex feelings."
Natalia Ginzburg

If nothing else in life, try to remember what is important. End of life regrets so often include not pursuing our passions out of guilt over what we "should" be doing. Responsibilities very easily take precedence over what we would really rather be doing. Try to put your life into chapters. Things that had to wait at one point in life can hopefully be pursued at a later time. For example, being a great housekeeper with a spotless home is wonderful, but if keeping everything "just so" is simply unrealistic with whatever else is going on in life, stop self-judging and feeling the need to explain all the time.


To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28

Week 5 January 29 - February 4
Week 6 February 5 - February 11
Week 7 February 12 - February 18
Week 8 February 19 - February 25

Week 9 February 26 - March 4