|Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much|
"In the upper echelons of the corporate world, it helps to be good-looking...but only if you're a man. If you're a woman, attractiveness can be a handicap."
A childhood lesson that is usually traumatic enough to remember for a lifetime is when we learned that life just isn't fair. We are taught the Golden Rule which states to 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you', however in the doggy dog world, it doesn't always work that way. There are still many double standards in the world in the treatment between men and women and what often works for men may not work for women in the same situation. We have to see these obstacles for what they are and move on; to not take it personally but as a means of gaining strength.
"When a woman tells the truth she is creating the possibility for more truth around her."
Another childhood lesson learned is that to be dishonest usually just snowballs into a tangle of untruths which in the end often backfire. However, to be called naive and "too honest" can be the start of convincing oneself that to survive in the world, one must learn just how much information to reveal and perhaps even lower our standards of what is "right" or "acceptable". We may convince ourselves that everyone lies anyway so it's no big deal. But it is a big deal. Truth is the path to being free, and until we start getting honest with ourselves and others again, we may lose touch with who we really are.
"...just a tender sense of my own inner process, that holds something of my connection with the divine."
Shelley is talking about intimacy. Filling up our lives to the point there is no quiet time or time to tune into ourselves results in a loss of connection not only with our own selves, but with other people as well. To connect with the divine, something greater than ourselves, can only occur when we have the time and energy to just "be".
"When I am all hassled about something, I always stop and ask myself what difference it will make in the evolution of the human species in the next ten million years, and that question always helps me to get back my perspective."
Anne Wilson Schaef
To rehash past events, disturbing thoughts, or what to do's, over and over in our minds is a sure path to what they call "thinking yourself to death". To go over and over something in our minds results in our losing perspective on the importance of the problem. We often need to step back and detach in order to see the whole picture and realize how we make our lives insane with such obsessive, crazy thinking. We have to learn to trust a higher power, to just let go, to turn our problems over to "what will be will be".
"Humans must breath, but corporations must make money."
We live in a society where money addiction is so rampant that we forget that money isn't really real. It is illusionary to think that financial security is a some thing to attain. Of course we need money to live and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem lies when we become so addicted to the process of making money that it becomes more real than our health, relationships and very lives. We never seem to have enough because we have this notion that more is better.
"It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes. It takes more gut and gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own."
This shows how powerful pride can be and lead to one's own downfall. They say the best defense is a good offense. What that means is that is is very noble to be able to forgive others their mistakes when we feel wronged, but to feel the shame of having someone witness or know the truth about us can be hard to swallow. We tend to find fault with them in order to divert the guilt we feel with ourselves. But to claim one's own mistakes and own them can be very freeing. To be honest with oneself is a true gift to recognize.
"When I was sixteen, my mother told me that I was expendable and if I didn't work hard, companies could just get rid of me. I work sixty to seventy hours a week, never take time off, and my husband and I haven't had a vacation in twelve years. I'm a workaholic, and I love it."
To try to make ourselves indispensable is asking for a rude awakening. To work out of fear is no way to live. Obsessive working is different from passion for our work. We may convince ourselves that we love what we do but what a crashing jolt should a company downsize and you find yourself let go. Not because you didn't perform well, but because business is business and you've become too expensive to keep on. Don't sacrifice your health and personal relationships only to find later that the one thing that shouldn't be expendable is oneself.
To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21