|Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much|
"We are traditionally rather proud of ourselves for having slipped creative work in there between the domestic chores and obligations. I'm not sure we deserve such big A-pluses for all that."
Whether a woman works outside the home or is an at-home-mom, we all tend to be busy 24/7 and become very proficient jugglers. We pride ourselves on calling it multitasking, but if we are trying to get a hundred things done at once and nothing really gets finished or done correctly, than that is a sign to start crossing some things off the list BEFORE we begin. Besides, creative projects should be fun, not just something else to say we accomplished.
"Make it a rule of life never to regret and never look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it is good only for wallowing in."
Everyone makes mistakes, that is the only way to really learn and become good at something. Looking back and taking what we've gained from those experiences to move on is one thing, but to look back and torture ourselves for past decisions or outcomes, is only going to drain our energy reserves for the present. To become aware of any harm done to ourselves or loved ones as a result of how we've lived out lives should tell us there is still time to make amends. Too many people wallow in the past and their last days of life are spent wasting precious time.
"When women take on a career, they don't discard their female values, but add them onto the traditional male values of work achievement and career success. As they struggle to fill the demands of both roles, women can't understand why men don't share this dual value system."
Susan Sturdinent and Gail Donoff
The same skills that work in the running of a home and personal lives are not the same skills that work in business. Women who expect things to operate on the same value system in both worlds are in for a rude awakening when they enter the workforce. Women cannot let pressure to conform effect who they really are, they just have to know what works where. Trusting ourselves can be a great contribution to our work.
"Thrice welcome, friendly Solitude, O let no busy foot intrude, Nor listening ear be nigh!"
from Ode to Solitude by Hester Chapone
Don't let anyone belittle your right to a slice of time for yourself and the importance of solitude. Everyone needs to periodically be left alone, there is nothing selfish in demanding a piece of the day for your own needs, to just "be". It is easy to go go go, but we also have to remember that we are setting an example to our children. We have to give the message that it is important to take care of ourselves as part of self-value with good mental and physical health.
"Lying is done with words and also with silence."
Jesus said, "You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free."
Addictive behavior puts us out of touch with ourselves, and when we are out of touch with who we really are, we cannot be fully honest with others either. We have to stop letting fear rule our lives. Fear of losing our jobs, spouse, and what we've accomplished. Allowing ourselves to be real isn't a bad thing!
"We're swallowed up only when we are willing for it to happen."
Taking responsibility for our actions does not mean we are to obsess over the word blame. Accountability and blame are not the same thing. Blame puts one in the victim role and robs us of power. Accountability is when we realize that we have choices in life and some of those choices may have been mistakes. We need to realize that we shouldn't blame ourselves for our lives, but we should claim our lives and move on. Take the good, the so-so and the bad with it.
"Iron, left in the rain
And fog and dew,
With rust is covered. -Pain
Rusts into beauty too."
Mary Carolyn Davies
A life without pain is a life of nonliving. It takes pain for us to realize the full extent of being human. When we fight pain, we lose the possibility of experiencing the process of its rusting "into beauty too". Pain is our own. We may not have asked for it, but it is ours to handle, and in doing so, there is the possibility of a redirection in life.
To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28
Week 5 January 29 - February 4
Week 6 February 5 - February 11
Week 7 February 12 - February 18