|Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much|
"What you know in your head will not sustain you in moments of crisis...confidence comes from body awareness, knowing what you feel in the moment."
Our feelings are what makes us human, yet we live in a society that tends to see feelings as fickle, irrational and unnecessary for the road to personal success. Maybe for a robotic society that may be correct but certainly not for the success of what makes for the intricate beings we really are. Feelings are a gift that brings us in touch with the world we live in, that connects us with each other, gives us the signals we need to read behavior and cope with life in general.
"She would greet us pleasantly, and immediately she seemed to surround the chaotic atmosphere of morning strife with something of order, of efficient and quiet uniformity, so that one had the feeling that life was small and curiously ordered."
We can all relate to situations such as this. The domino effect is happening and things may appear to be getting out of hand. One person's high-strung energy may be trying to emit control and order but in doing so, that charged, nervous energy is filtering around the room creating tension. Another person in the same situation may give off a quiet, confident presence that others tend to gravitate towards; calm, cool and collected. Order that comes from such a person is so much more peaceful, the definition of serenity.
"You can get lonesome-being that busy."
People who are overly busy all the time may read this and dismiss it. The truth may be that it is possible to not realize we are lonely because we don't stop long enough to be in touch with what we are feeling. Our work can be like a jealous lover, demanding more and more. It is good to be productive, but not at the expense of intimacy and time needed to nurture our relationships with those we love.
"So instant intimacy was too often followed by disillusion."
While it is possible to feel an instant connection with someone, it is a mistake to think if we find the right person we'll know immediately that this is the one. True intimacy is a process that takes time and if you don't have time for what that involves, then the relationship probably won't develop beyond a quick flame that fizzles rather quickly. It is said that instant intimacy is one of the characteristics of addictive relationships.
"Each woman is being made to feel it is her own cross to bear if she can't be the perfect clone of the male superman and the perfect clone of the feminine mystique."
Sometimes there is just too much to do, too many roles to play, and too much pressure to be and do it all. The way to handle life when the vise starts to tighten is to realize that we have the power to control its turning. Rather than blocking out the anguish all the stress is causing and thinking we are weak if we admit it, we would be much better off if we would just acknowledge what is happening and step out away from it.
"I wish I'd a knowed more people. I would of loved 'em all. If I'd a knowed more, I would loved more."
There is no limit to the amount of love we can share. Love is an energy that is shared because we have it, simple as that. It should not be dolled out as a means to get something in return. It should not be parceled out in piecemeal due to the fear that to give freely will only get us hurt. Love is something that flows out of out deep sense of loving ourselves. It is not possible to love another if we don't know and love ourselves. Once we love who we are, we'll be much more open to getting to know other people. We'll soon learn there is plenty of that love to go around and the reserves won't be drained dry.
"The thing about having a baby is that thereafter you have it."
While it is true that babies are born a clean slate, it is a disillusion to think we can shape them how we see fit and they'll stay that way. Parenting is an intimate, interactive process that continues for the rest of our lives. Only when we stop with the fantasy child image can we begin to see who these little people really are. And when we do that it is a great step in giving our children the autonomy they need to develop into independent adults.
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To read the previous weeks' posts:
Week 1 January 1 - January 7
Week 2 January 8 - January 14
Week 3 January 15 - January 21
Week 4 January 22 - January 28
Week 5 January 29 - February 4
Week 6 February 5 - February 11
Week 7 February 12 - February 18
Week 8 February 19 - February 25
Week 9 February 26 - March 4
Week 10 March 5 - March 11
Week 11 March 12 - March 18
Week 12 March 19 - March 25
Week 13 March 26 - April 1
Week 14 April 2 - April 8
Week 15 April 9 - April 15
Week 16 April 16 - April 22
Week 17 April 23 - 29
Week 18 April 30 - May 6